


Shattered Soul

by Vashti93



Category: Teen Titans (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29485125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vashti93/pseuds/Vashti93
Summary: This is Dark Trauma 2.0.  (Dark Trauma is the first fanfic I ever wrote.)  I went back and flushed out the chapters, added more characters and scenes. Story/plot remain the same.
Relationships: Kon-El | Conner Kent/Cassie Sandsmark, Tim Drake/Raven
Comments: 14
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one in the DCU.

_Beep. Beep._ The heart monitor was the only sound to be heard in the med bay. Raven sat with her head in her hands, willing Connor to wake up, willing herself to remember. _What happened? How did I…?_ She looked at her hands woefully. She honestly could not remember. Raven searched her brain desperately. She remembered the distress call. She remembered she and Connor getting to the night club first. She remembered Red Robin telling them to wait for backup, but Connor had already run into the night club. So, she followed him _. She followed her teammate. That’s what she was supposed to do. That’s what heroes did. They had their teammates’ backs, even the ones that didn’t listen because they were still getting over a breakup._ A sharp pain shot through Raven’s head as she roughly rubbed her temples. She remembered flying past the police cars with their blaring, bright sirens upon reaching the crime scene. She remembered teleporting into the night club. Connor hadn’t been visible through the strobe lights or fog machines. _She was getting hit with too many emotions. Unconscious and dead bodies littered the floor, but she needed to find Connor._ But…that’s where things got fuzzy.

* * *

_Raven opened her eyes. She slowly sat up as her vision began to clear. She then took stock of her surroundings. The nightclub had been reduced to rubble. It was…gone. Cops were yelling, speaking into their radios, calling for backup. Firefighters and EMTs had converged on the scene, and a few spectators were digging through the rubble, trying to reach the victims buried underneath. She sensed fear coming from the already gathering crowd. She looked down at herself. Her clothes were torn entirely, no more than mere strips of cloth barely covering her privates. She had blood pouring out of a deep gash on her head. Probably from a ceiling beam, she surmised. “Raven!” She turned to see Red Robin and the rest of the team running towards her with shock and horror apparent on their faces. He said something to a nearby cop who pointed at her. She then realized that she was the source of the crowd’s fear. Suddenly Wonder Girl was in front of her, yanking her to her feet and shaking her roughly. “What did you do?” she screamed. Raven stuttered. “Wh-what?” was Raven’s only response. She looked at the destruction all around her. Cop cars were flipped over; one was in a tree. Shattered glass was all over the place. “Connor!” Wonder Girl released and began to dig for her ex frantically. The other Titans had already made themselves scarce, looking for survivors, helping the police, retrieving the cop car from the tree. Red Robin was suddenly in front of her, wrapping his cape around her shoulders. She placed a hand on Red Robin’s shoulder, steadying herself on shaky legs. She immediately felt his worry. He gently cupped her face and asked, “What happened?”_

_“I don’t know,” she replied, tears welling up in her eyes. “I don’t know.”_

* * *

Once she had returned to the tower, Raven had done her best to heal Connor; but with the trauma to her head, and her fragile emotional state, she could only do so much. Although, physically speaking, Connor was fine. There wasn’t a scratch on him. But, for some reason, he was in a coma. Raven had received an earful from Cassie as soon as they reached the tower. 

_“This is your fault!” Cassie screamed lividly. “How could you lose control? Why didn’t you wait for backup?”_

_“Enough, Cassie!” Red Robin had stepped between the two girls. “We don’t know what happened, but Connor isn’t our main concern right now. Raven,” he looked at Raven tenderly, “stay here. Rest, and keep watch over Connor.”_

_“What!” Cassie protested. “You’re leaving him with her? It’s her fault we’re in this mess in the first place! She can’t be trusted!”_

_“Enough, Cassie! You and I need to get back out there and help with the rescue. Here is the best place for Raven to be right now. Will you be okay?” he had asked Raven. Raven nodded. “Okay. Let’s go.” Cassie turned to follow him, but not before giving Raven a dirty look._

Now, hours later – around 6 a.m., Raven sat on the bed, still wrapped in Tim’s cape, looking at her hands, still trying to piece the evening together in her mind. What happened? How did she lose control? She was always in control. Save for a few instances. And why wasn’t Connor waking up? He didn’t have a scratch on him. 

Raven sensed before she heard the rest of the titans enter the tower. They were speaking amongst themselves. The atmosphere was tense and depressing. She listened to the doors to the med bay open and prepared herself for the tongue-lashing of the century. Tim and Cassie had walked in. “Any change?” she heard Tim ask.

“No. No change,” Raven answered softly. “Is everyone okay?” she asked without looking up. She heard Cassie scoff. “You mean from the building you dropped on them?” Cassie asked.

“Cass,” Tim snapped at her, shocking both her and Raven.

“Whatever,” Cassie responded, leaving the infirmary. “I’m over this.” It was just Tim, Raven, and a comatose Connor. Eventually, Raven looked up to see Tim staring intently at her, his mask off. He took a step closer to her, his blue eyes holding her gaze. “It’s just us now, Rae," Tim spoke softly. "You can tell me anything. What happened?”

“There's nothing to tell,” Raven sighed, looking away. “I don’t remember. I can’t remember.”

“Raven- “

“I’m telling the truth, Tim,” she looked at him desperately, “I don’t remember. I don’t know.” Tim sat on the edge of the bed she occupied. Raven pulled her knees to her chest to give him more room. “It’s…it feels like there’s a black hole in my memory. I don’t know what happened. I remember running into the night club after Connor, but I don’t remember anything after that. I just remember laying in a pile of rubble.” Tim reached out to put a comforting hand on her knee, but Raven flinched. Visibly flinched. There was nothing subtle about that flinch. Tim looked at her curiously. “Are you okay?” he asked. Raven stared at him for a moment before nodding slightly. “Okay,” he said, clearly unconvinced, “but I’m benching you for now. Just until things get back to normal.” Raven nodded, resting her head on her knees in exhaustion and mortification. _What had she done?_

* * *

One month. That’s how long it took for things to go back to “normal” – that’s how long Raven was not allowed to leave the Tower as ‘Raven.’ Within that time span, a few leaguers stopped by to see if they could rouse Connor from his coma. The Martian Manhunter; Batman; Zatanna Zatara – who made her thoughts on Raven’s existence extremely clear – and a few of the greatest minds from S.T.A.R. Labs visited Connor. But nothing was found. He was physically and mentally in great shape. “ _The only thing I can say_ ,” Raven listened by eavesdropping from a place in the ceiling in the guise of her soul-self as the Martian Manhunter spoke, “ _is that Connor is perfectly healthy. I believe he is keeping himself in this coma. Did anything traumatic happen to him the week of the accident_?”

“ _Isn’t having a demon drop a building on you traumatic enough_?” Zatara nearly sneered. “ _I told the League_ -“

“ _Thank you, Zatanna_ ,” Raven’s stomach fluttered as Tim interrupted the magician, “ _every person in the Justice League, Titans, and Young Justice know how you feel about Raven._ ” Tim turned to the green alien as Zatanna seemed to pout. “ _He and Cassie broke up hours before the incident_ ,” Tim said. “ _That’s all I can think of_.”

“ _Hmm_ ,” Raven saw Martian put a finger to his lips. “ _What are Batman’s thoughts on the matter_?”

“ _Basically, the same as yours_ ,” Tim answered, “ _he thinks Connor is subconsciously keeping himself in this catatonic state_.”

“ _What about the young sorceress? Raven?_ ” J’ohnn asked.

“ _She has no memory of the evening_ ,” Tim sighed.

“ _And you believe the demon_?” Zatanna questioned.

“ _Yes_ ,” Tim answered firmly, without hesitation or doubt. “ _I do_.” Zatanna took a step back from him.

“ _Hmm_ ,” Martian Manhunter said again. “ _Can you call Raven down here_? I would like to speak to her.” Raven immediately returned to her body, not waiting to hear Tim’s answer. Her heart was thumping against her chest. Moments later, she sensed Tim outside her door. She opened it before he even had a chance to knock. He stared at her, his mouth slightly agape in surprise. She must be quite a sight with her hair hanging limply down her back, dark circles around her eyes, wearing an extremely baggy shirt. Also, none of her teammates had seen her in a good week. She always teleported to and from school; teleported food from the fridge to her bedroom. “I sensed you,” Raven said softly when Tim still hadn’t said a word.

“J’ohnn would like to speak to you,” he said. Raven nodded and stepped out of her room. “Raven,” Tim placed a hand on her shoulder. She froze for a split second before reflexively throwing his hand from her shoulder with a growl. Both Titans froze at Raven's response. Raven could only stare at her hand in shock and horror. “I…” she didn’t know what to say. Tim's surprise was just as palpable. “Raven,” he said with deep concern, "if you don't feel up to this-"

“No, I’ll go,” Raven said. “Where is he?” she asked, knowing full well J'ohnn awaited her in the common room.

“The common room,” Tim answered. They then stared at each other awkwardly. “After you,” Raven whispered. Tim nodded, this entire interaction had him perplexed as he stored it away in his brain, something he'd dwell on later. He briefly glanced back at the empath following him. Raven followed a few feet behind him with her arms around herself, hugging herself protectively. All was not well with his teammate, and he resolved to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

Fifteen feet away from the door and Raven hit a wall of hate and disgust. _Zatanna._ Raven rolled her eyes. She had neither the time nor energy to deal with the goody-two-shoes TV magician. Raven walked through the common room doors, facing Zatanna’s glare head-on. “Demon,” Zatanna growled. Raven rolled her eyes. “You aren’t worth my time, Zatara,” Raven replied.

“What did you say you-“

“Zatanna,” the Martian Manhunter interrupted, “your skills are no longer needed. You are free to leave.”

“I’d like to stay,” Zatanna said.

“As a superior league member, I am nicely asking you to leave,” J’ohnn turned his red, alien eyes to the female magician.

“Fine,” Zatanna turned away grumpily, “but don’t come whining to me when shit hits the fan.” She then stormed from the room. “I apologize for her behavior,” the green alien said to Raven.

“Doesn’t bother me anymore,” Raven shrugged. “Tim said you wanted to see me.”

“Yes, I would like to see what happened through your eyes. If you’ll allow it,” he added, exuding calm and safety. 

“Okay,” Raven said, the thought of someone else in her head making her queasy, “but I don’t remember anything. And ripping a memory…”

“I won’t do anything to your mind. I promise.” Raven sensed only truth from the green alien. She nodded hesitantly. J’ohnn motioned for her to sit. She did; and J'ohnn sat in front of her, their knees brushing against each other. Raven's stomach churned at the contact as a brief wave of nausea and panic swept through her. “Ready?” the Martian asked. Raven closed her eyes and lowered the safeguards in her mind just as he was placing a hand on either side of her head. "Ready," she breathed after a moment or two. Once he sensed her walls were down, the green alien entered Raven's mind both slowly and carefully. He'd barely crossed the threshold when a scream tore through the air. A wall of pain hit him like a ton of bricks before his mind went black.

* * *

“Raven,” a voice called out. “Raven.” Raven’s eyes slowly opened groggily. A pair of blue eyes were inches from her face, staring at her with worry. Was she on the floor? When did that happen? “Mmm,” someone groaned in pain. Raven turned to see M’gann helping her uncle off the floor. “What happened?” M’gann demanded to know. An intense pressure filled Raven's head. Her head was pounding. She had a headache, and the room was spinning. Were the walls closing in on her? Her heart began pounding in her chest as her body filled with terror. She closed her eyes as she began to be plagued by images. She couldn't breathe. _Flashing lights. Sickening laughter. A huge weight on her chest with heavy breathing in her ear._ “Raven!” a voice screamed. Raven’s eyes popped open once again as she began hyperventilating and objects in the room began vibrating. Tim held her head in his hands and said, “Breathe, Raven.” She looked at him with wide eyes. “Breathe,” he said again, “inhale. Exhale. Do it with me.” Raven began inhaling deeply and exhaling. “Good,” Tim said giving her a small smile as he gently stroked her hair. Raven felt her body relax. “Can you sit up?” he asked. Raven nodded. Tim helped her slowly sit. He froze when he realized how close their faces were. If he angled his head just so, their lips would touch. Raven’s breath caught in her chest at the thought of maybe kissing Tim. “What happened?” she breathed out. She looked past Tim. A sofa and table had been split in half. “Did I do that?” Raven asked in a panic as Tim helped Raven to her feet. She looked over at the two Martians. J’ohnn was still on the floor, rubbing his head. “J’ohnn,” she said, “I…I…” she looked pleadingly at M’gann, who was torn between yelling at Raven and comforting her uncle. She chose the former. “No,” J’ohnn stopped her before M'gann could utter a single insult. “This wasn’t Raven's fault,” he groaned in pain. M’gann looked at him queerly. “How do you mean?” she asked her uncle. “She should have lowered her safeguards. Why didn't she?”

“She did,” J’ohnn looked at Raven with compassion. “Something else kicked me out.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Raven gasped, trying to pull away from Tim, who was gently holding her. Tim didn’t let her go, thankfully. Raven was a bit wobbly on her legs. “I know,” J’ohnn slowly stood to his feet. "I know," he reassured her.

“Do you know what it was?” Raven asked. “Is someone in my head? Am I compromised?”

“No,” J’ohnn shook his head. “Your mind is safe. Extremely safe. Unfortunately, I was not able to see what Raven saw.”

“Why?” Raven asked.

“Because you didn’t see anything, Raven,” he turned to her kindly. “For some reason, your eyes were closed when whatever happened, _happened_. You were probably unconscious. From what I gathered, you're not the cause of...any of this. Merely collateral.” Raven didn’t know what to say. It didn’t make her feel any better about the situation. “Well,” Tim said, optimism coating his voice, “since Raven isn’t responsible, I guess you are no longer benched.” He smiled at her. She didn’t return it. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Raven asked. “I don’t know if I’m ready to jump right back into heroics.”

“If my uncle says you’re not responsible, Raven,” M’gann looked at her with no malice or anger, “then you’re not responsible. However, I can stay until Raven gets her bearings. I don’t mind.” Raven looked at Tim pleadingly. “Uh…okay," Tim looked at Raven in obvious concern. "If you don’t mind,” he said to M’gann.

“No problem,” she smiled brightly. “I’ve wanted to spend more time with Beast Boy. He’s so funny. Like the little brother I never had.”

“Um…okay…” Raven said. “If you guys don’t mind, I have a biology exam tomorrow. I need to study.” Tim watched intently as she slowly phased into the floor.

* * *

Raven landed on her bed and curled up into a ball, pulling the covers over her head, replaying the conversation in her head. She did have a biology exam, but she didn’t need to study. She knew that stuff inside and out. No. That wasn’t what bothered her. The fear and panic and terror she currently felt had nothing to do with her upcoming biology exam. It had been there before J’ohnn entered her mind, and it seemed to have amplified since he entered her mind. Raven didn’t know what she was afraid of, but every fiber of her being said that she was no longer safe. Her room was no longer safe; the Tower was no longer safe; she was no longer safe. Hot, silent tears came to her eyes as drowsiness took over. Her heart pounded loudly in her ears as the shadows in her room began to close in on her. She was drowning; she was scared, and she didn’t know why.


	2. Chapter 2

She’d slept horribly. Not that she’d been sleeping well the last month, but last night was the worst of the worse. Shadows and faces she didn’t recognize traipsed through her dreams like a Sunday stroll. When she’d awoken, her entire room was in shambles, and her bathroom mirror was nothing more than shards on the floor.

Now, Raven tiredly walked down the Titan hallway, barely able to keep her eyes open. She planned to grab a quick breakfast and then head to school while avoiding her teammates at all cost. Also, she was going to need coffee. _Desperate and tired,_ Raven thought once she realized she was about to compromise her tea morals in favor of coffee. 

She stopped mid-stride when she heard her name from the other side of the common room doors. So much for avoiding her teammates. _“What does that even mean? How can it not be her fault?”_ she heard Cassie demand.

“ _Martian Manhunter said_ -“

“ _Martian Manhunter is probably lying to protect her_!”

“ _My uncle does not lie_ ,” Raven heard M’gann state firmly. “ _If he says the fault was not Raven’s, then the fault was not Raven’s. So, get over it!_ ”

“ _Well, what about the public_?” Cassie’s angry, loud voice carried. “ _They’re demanding her head on a silver platter_.”

“ _Already taken care of_ ,” M’gann said.

“What are you doing out here?” a voice from behind Raven asked, startling her in the process. Raven turned to see Garfield staring down at her with his green eyes, a smile on his face. Once upon a time, Raven considered him handsome. Now…they got along better as brother and sister. “You’re talking to me,” Raven said.

“Yeah,” Garfield rubbed the back of his head nervously while his eyes darted away from her. “Sorry about that.”

“Whatever,” Raven said, not wanting to talk to him at the moment.

“Aren’t you gonna go in?” Garfield asked.

“I thought I was hungry,” Raven answered, “but I’m not anymore. What are you doing?” she asked because that seemed like the proper thing to do.

“Getting ready to go on set. I have few scenes to reshoot,” he answered with a smile, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I’ll be back later.” Garfield lifted his hand to playfully rub the top of her head, something he and Victor liked to do for some reason. But Raven shocked both herself and Garfield by automatically creating a shield, blocking an imaginary blow. “Um…Raven?” Garfield stared at her in confusion.

“Sorry,” Raven dropped her shield and took a step away from him. “I’m not feeling too well.”

“Do you need a doctor? Should I call Victor?” Garfield asked.

“No. It’s…a…” Raven searched her brain for an excuse. “I think it’s PMS or something.” Garfield's eyes widened in understanding. “I’m gonna…go…” Raven said before disappearing into a portal, not giving him another chance to respond. After staring for a few seconds at the spot where Raven used to be, Garfield shrugged and continued walking. Her actions were weird, but he’d seen stranger things.

* * *

Raven stared at her phone, scrolling through articles after articles about her as she waited for class to begin. She usually didn’t care about the public’s opinion of her, but after what happened…she started checking social media sites every day. _Cassie hadn’t been too far off when she said the public wanted her head._ Today, however, there seemed to be nothing too scathing. The public no longer wanted her dead; religious zealots no longer demanded she forcibly be removed from the planet. Sure, there were a few remarks here and there, but nothing she wasn’t used to. Whatever M’gann did had worked. “Sup, Rache!” a cheery blonde greeted her. Raven jumped in her seat. A crack appeared in the ceiling above her. Thankfully, no one noticed. “How are you doing today?” the cheery blonde asked, seemingly oblivious to Raven's startled facial expression.

_Horrible. “_ Fine,” Raven gave her a tentative smile.

“You look exhausted,” her friend commented.

“I was up really late, studying.”

“I didn’t study at all,” her friend stated proudly. Raven furrowed her eyebrows at her friend. “Tabitha, are you trying to _not_ graduate this year?” Raven asked as more students began filing into the classroom.

“Eh,” Tabitha shrugged. “It isn’t a mid-term or a final. I can afford a _C.”_

“You said that last time,” Raven said as she dug through her bookbag, looking for a pen.

“Did I really? Oh well. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about tonight. That tribute band I was telling you about last week?”

“Dark Mistress?”

“Yeah. They’re performing. Tonight. You in?”

“Where are they performing?” Raven asked, fighting a smile.

“Verdant.”

“Verdant? Don’t you have to be 21 to get into that club?” Tabitha reached into her back pocket and pulled out two small, plastic cards. “Ta-da,” she said.

“Fake IDs?” Raven gasped. “Where did you get these? Tabitha, are you hacking again?”

“No,” Tabitha answered, “my brother knows a guy.”

“My fake name is Glitter? Am I a stripper or a porn star?”

“Who cares about your name? They’ll only look at the birth date, anyway. So, are you in?”

“I don’t know,” Raven said, picking at her food. “I haven’t been feeling well.”

“Come on, Rache,” Tabitha begged, “honestly, you look like you could use a night off.” Raven still looked skeptical. “It’s Friday,” Tabitha whined. “Please don’t make me go alone. Please. Please.” Raven rolled her eyes at her friend’s antics. “Fine,” she gave in. “Yay!” Tabitha grabbed her arm. “Maybe Raven will show? She does that sometimes.”

“Hmm…isn’t she in hiding or something?” Raven asked. “Didn’t she destroy a nightclub?”

“Oh please,” Tabitha scoffed. “Raven is the one hero that’s never been brainwashed to hurt anyone. And do you know how many civilians she’s accidentally injured?”

“Um…no?”

“None.”

“None?” Raven looked at her friend with a raised brow.

“None.”

“How do you know? You stalk her or something?” Raven smiled.

“No, but she has a band in her honor. And those musicians probably do stalk her.” Raven smiled inwardly. If only her friend knew. “Want me to pick you up?” Tabitha asked.

“No,” Raven said casually, “I’ll meet you at the club. 9:30, right?”

“Yes. What are you going to wear?” Raven only rolled her eyes at her friend as their teacher entered the classroom. “Don’t worry about it,” Raven whispered. “I’ll make sure to look amazing.”

* * *

The day seemed to drag on and on as if it would never end. Raven was constantly overly aware of her surroundings, reading the minds of every single person who walked by her. It was exhausting, she felt sick, and she had a major headache. Tabitha, consistently-oblivious-Tabitha, even picked up on it. “Rachel,” Tabitha said as they exited the building, the school day finally ending, “are you sure you’re okay? You look extremely pale, and you’re shivering even though it’s almost 100° out. Maybe you shouldn’t go out tonight.”

“No, no, no,” Raven protested. She did not want to be stuck in the Tower anymore. “I’ll be fine. It’s just my period. I promise I will be well-rested by tonight. I just need to sleep.” Tabitha nodded in understanding. “Well…see ya’,” Tabitha said before hurrying in the direction opposite Raven. Raven began the long walk back to the tower, too exhausted to open a portal. She had unwillingly read the minds and emotions of over 1000 students. A few water fountains had burst in her wake, as well as a couple of toilets. Raven looked down at her hands as she continued to walk. What was wrong with her? She did not feel well. “Hey, sweetheart,” a man got her attention. Catcallers. She hated catcallers. She turned to face the idiot—a construction site, of course. Though, Raven didn’t recognize this area. _Where was she?_ A few other construction workers sitting on a scaffold joined in, making lude comments and gestures. Panic and fear began to well in her stomach, as well as anger. Also, _where was she? How far had she walked? She couldn’t even see the tower._ “You good, sweetheart?” the guy leered at her as he stood in front of her. “You look lost.” 

“Excuse me?” Raven said in a dangerously low voice, no longer feeling like herself.

“You’re cute,” the guy said. He was sweaty and disgusting. Raven was pretty sure he had beer on his breath. “Are you lost?” he repeated himself, his eyes slowly roaming her body. Raven refused to admit that she was lost. Ignoring the whoops and hollers from the bystanders, Raven sensed another presence behind her. She turned to see another man smiling creepily at her. “You look so lonely,” he said. “My friend and I thought maybe we could cheer you up.”

“Not interested,” Raven tried not to growl. She tried to walk past the man, but he stepped in front of her. Raven felt her powers rush to her fingertips, unbidden as anger began to overtake fear and panic slowly. “Come on, baby. Don’t be like that,” the man in front of her cooed as Raven sensed the man behind her step closer. “We’ll be gentle.” Raven closed her eyes, controlling her breathing, willing her powers back into her body. Her eyes shot open when she felt a hand in her hair. “I wonder,” the guy in front of her continued speaking, “is your skin as soft as your hair?” Raven’s hand immediately shot out, grabbing the male construction worker by the throat, simultaneously freezing the guy behind her with her powers. The man wrapped in her powers tried to fight her, but the black energy surrounding him only intensified. Raven smiled when she heard a satisfying crack of bones. Her eyes never left the dirty face of the man in front of her. He was gasping for air, and the sight made her want to laugh. “I said ‘no,’” Raven heard herself say. And judging from her vision, she was sporting all four eyes, and she wasn’t in control.

“I – I – I’m sorry,” the construction worker sputtered as the small girl began to lift him off his feet. His friend screamed in pain as Raven’s powers squeezed his midsection. A creak from the scaffold momentarily got her attention. Nails and screws were loosening as men began to climb off the scaffold desperately. The fear flowing from the men only served to intensify her powers. “I don’t want your sorry,” Raven heard herself say to the man whose face was slowly turning purple as she began cutting off his airflow. Every now and then, she would allow him to inhale just enough before she tightened her grip. She turned to look at the guy behind, who was still struggling to free himself from the black cord of energy that seemed to tighten around him like a boa constrictor. “What’s the matter?” Raven heard herself mock as a supernatural wind began blowing. The scaffold began to sway as Raven picked up cement blocks and bricks with her powers. “Don’t you want to make me feel good?” Raven heard the echo in her voice as the men began pleading with her. “I’m lost. Don’t you want to help me?” Raven mocked the struggling man. “Am I being too gentle?” Raven’s mind commanded her hand to squeeze the men. “Guys like you like it rough, right?” an evil laugh bubbled from her throat.

“Wha – wha – what are you?” she heard another worker cowering behind the scaffold ask. Whatever haze she’d been under immediately burst. As Raven returned to herself with a gasp, she dropped the two men. The wind stopped blowing; the giant cement blocks fell to the ground; the scaffold was no longer swaying even though half of it was on the ground – where a few men lay cradling their arms and legs. What had she done? “What…happened?” Raven wondered dizzily. “Please…please…” a worker on his hands and knees cried. “We’re sorry…please…” A crowd of bystanders was beginning to gather. A stranger ran up to Raven and asked in a non-accusatory way, “What happened?” 

“I don’t – I don’t know,” Raven answered, slowly backing away, beginning to realize that at least 20 construction workers lay on the ground moaning in pain. Raven needed to get out of here. “We should…we should call 9-1-1,” Raven said. Looking around, several people were on their phones. Raven expertly disappeared, running to a nearby alley. She quickly scanned the minds of the crowd. No one had seen anything. They only approached the construction because they heard the scaffold fall apart. Satisfied, Raven created a portal and landed on her bed. Curling into a ball, Raven began hyperventilating. She climbed under her covers and pulled them over her head as her body began to shake in fear. What was happening to her?


	3. Chapter 3

Raven checked herself out in the mirror, making sure she was in full Rachel mode. She resolved to have a stress-free night as Rachel. Raven checked her dark makeup. She didn’t care for eyeliner, eyeshadow, or cosmetics, for that matter, but Rachel did. Rachel was full goth. She was someone Raven would have been if she had been born 100% human. She wore a black corset top; black, buckle-strap shorts over black fishnets paired with black combat boots. Her hair fell straight down her back, parted to cover one eye just so. Her fingers were adorned with her signature rings. Raven, deciding to go all out, reached for a choker but paused when something else caught her eye. It was a necklace. Last Christmas, while accompanying Tim on one of his shopping trips, they passed a jewelry store where an expensive, silver butterfly necklace was on display. It had caught Raven’s eye. Tim offered to buy it for her, but she remembered saying she’d prefer a raven. Imagine her surprise when that necklace appeared on her bed Christmas night. Only, instead of a butterfly, it was a raven. It sat in its original box. Raven found it too pretty to wear, and she felt undeserving of such a gift. Before she could convince herself otherwise, Raven immediately fastened the chain around her neck. The raven rested perfectly on her sternum. Raven smiled at her reflection. She looked…decent. 

Her phone buzzed. Tabitha was making sure Raven wasn’t bowing out. Sending a quick reply, Raven stepped through her door, running into an unsuspecting Tim. “Woah, hey,” he smiled, steadying her. His warm fingers wrapping around her bare upper arms as feelings of peace rolled off his body in waves. At that moment, all Raven wanted to do was wrap her body around his. “I thought you would be back in Gotham,” Raven said, quickly turning away from Tim, hiding a blush. She turned back to face him when he didn’t respond. He was staring at the raven gracing her neck. “Tim,” Raven said his name breathlessly by accident. Tim’s eyes snapped to hers. Raven had to fight the magnetic pull her body felt towards Tim. “You’re not in Gotham,” her voice cracked.

“So eager to be rid of me,” he joked, the tension in the air dissipating. Raven didn’t respond at all. “I’m gonna stay a little longer. At least until Connor wakes up and you’re back on your feet.” Raven nodded slowly as they began to walk down the hallway. “Where are you going?” Tim asked. Raven looked straight ahead, feeling Tim’s eyes on her body. She almost smirked. “Dark Mistress is performing,” Raven smiled.

“Your band,” Tim laughed. He really got a kick out of Raven’s dedication band. “You gonna make sure they don’t actually summon another demon?” Tim laughed.

“No,” Raven smiled. “Not this time. I’m going with a friend, Tabitha.” Tim continued to chuckle. “It’s not that funny,” Raven said.

“You hate fan mail, but you have a fan-band. Please tell me you see the irony.”

“You’re just jealous Red Robin doesn’t have a band.”

“That we know of.”

“That would be the most boring band,” Raven joked.

“Hey,” Tim protested.

“Classical musicians trying but failing to play rock music.”

“My band would be awesome, excuse you,” Tim said. Raven rolled her eyes. “Well,” she admitted, not quite sure why she was still talking, “if I’m honest, I don’t really want to go. But I haven’t been spent any time with Tabitha outside of school. I don’t want her to think me a bad friend. I also don’t want her to think that something’s wrong.” The two Titans paused outside the common room doors. “ _Is_ there something wrong?” Tim cocked his head at her, taking a small step towards her.

“No,” Raven answered quickly. “But she doesn’t think I want to be her friend anymore because I’ve been…absent this past month.” Tim nodded, seeming to accept this explanation. “Where’s the concert?” he asked.

“Verdant,” Raven felt herself blush. Tim’s eyebrows raised. “Don’t you have to be 21?” he smiled mischievously.

“Tabitha’s brother knows a guy,” Raven answered sheepishly.

“I never thought I’d see the day when you would sneak into a club,” Tim folded his arms as his eyes lit up with amusement.

“Neither did I,” Raven gave a small laugh feeling better than she had felt in weeks.

“Well, let me drive you,” Tim said.

“I can teleport there,” Raven assured him as they entered the common room.

“It’s fine, Rae.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience you,” Raven said softly. He’d already done so much for her this month.

“It’s no problem,” Tim reassured her. “I need to restock one of my safehouses. I’m headed in that direction.” Raven relented, realizing Tim was not going to cave. “Running out of coffee?” Raven smirked.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, nudging her shoulder with his playfully.

“You’re going to have to show me one of these safehouses of yours,” Raven said as they continued speaking, unaware of the eyes on them. “They’re probably so…Timified.” Tim stopped walking. “Timified?” he laughed. “What is that?”

“I don’t know,” Raven shrugged as she kept walking. “I imagine 15 different coffee makers, no bed, computer screens everywhere.”

“Ahem,” someone cleared their throat. Cassie stood a few feet in front of them, an icy expression on her face. “Cassie,” Tim said firmly. Cassie only brushed past them as she stormed out the room in the direction of the infirmary.

“She hates me,” Raven said woefully.

“No, she doesn’t,” Rose appeared from the couch. “She’s just upset that the last thing she said to Connor was, ‘We should take a break.’ Whatever that means.” Raven smiled, but it quickly left her face as she looked past Rose at the TV. “What’s going on?” Raven asked, motioning to the TV with her head.

“Oh,” Rose answered, “some freak accident with a scaffold on the other side of the town…a good 40 miles away from us.” Raven inhaled sharply. “Was anyone hurt?” Raven prayed Tim didn’t hear the shakiness in her voice. He did. “Several,” Rose answered, “though no one knows what happened. No cameras in the area.”

“What were they building?” Tim asked.

“A Mexican restaurant.” The voices of Tim and Rose faded in the background as blood roared in Raven’s ears. Her breath became labored as she calmed her racing heart. “Did anyone die?” Raven asked. Tim and Rose looked at her weirdly. “Uh…” Rose looked back at the muted TV, “two guys seemed to have hit their heads on the concrete hard enough to put them into a semi-catatonic state.” Raven’s breath caught in her throat. “Are you okay?” Tim asked.

“Hot date at…9 p.m.?” Rose asked, eyeing Raven’s outfit, asking before Raven could answer Tim.

“Concert with a friend,” Raven said. She turned to Tim. “We should go. It starts at 9:30. I don’t want Tabitha to think I stood her up.” Tim nodded; concern flashed in his blue eyes. “Have fun, you two,” Rose called out as her two teammates walked to the elevator, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Shut up,” Tim as the elevator doors shut.

* * *

Raven’s eyes widened when she saw the car Tim had driven. “You drove this from Gotham?” she looked at the sleek Lamborghini with tinted windows in front of her.

“No,” Tim smiled as she he unlocked the door. “It was on the jet.” Raven’s eyes only widened when the door swung up. “It’s a scissor door,” Tim stated in a cute, smug way. Raven rolled her eyes before entering the car while mentioning something about rich brats. 

After emerging from the underground tunnel that led from the Titan’s garage to the street, Tim navigated San Francisco's streets smoothly. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Raven finally said, “Tim, I can feel you thinking. Just ask what’s on your mind.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? Not to be a worrywart, but you’ve only been to school and back. A club…?”

“I already told you why I’m going,” Raven sighed, “I haven’t been a good friend to Tabitha. She’s starting to notice something is wrong.”

“ _Is_ something wrong?” Tim asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

“No, but I’ve avoided her so much, she thinks I’m hiding something. Which, to be fair, I am.”

“I’m sure if you explain what happened…”“She doesn’t know who I am, who I _really_ am. She only knows me as Rachel.”

“Why?” Tim asked in genuine confusion.

“I want to have a secret identity. I…” Raven paused, looking out the window. “I applied to college.”

“What!” Raven felt and heard Tim’s shock. “Really? When?”

“Last year.”

“What!”

“Yeah,” she folded her arms, wishing she’d brought a jacket. “I got early acceptance into Gotham University.” Tim nearly slammed on his breaks in the middle of the street. “What! Raven! That is so amazing. When can you…”?

“I don’t know if I’ll go early, but I got a full-ride academic scholarship. They need an answer by December. If I go, I’ll be moving to Gotham in...April or May or before. It wasn’t clear.” Tim pulled in front of the club and put the car in park. He turned to Raven, admiration in his blue eyes. “Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, a little hurt that she hadn’t confided in him.

“I was…but Cassie and Connor had that extremely loud argument. They broke up. then I destroyed a building,” her eyes fell to the floor. “It didn’t matter anymore.”

“Yes, it does, Raven,” Tim tried to look her in her eyes. “Yes, it does.”

“Not if Connor never wakes up,” Raven looked at him pathetically. Tim couldn’t remember the last time Raven had looked so…defeated. She turned to leave the car. “Raven,” Tim placed a gentle hand on her back and felt her body immediately stiffen as her mind became bombarded with noise. Tim quickly removed his hand, not sure how he caused such an extreme reaction. “What time will this be over?” he asked quietly, not wanting to startle her.

“Probably 2.”

“I’ll pick you up then.” Raven abruptly turned to Tim. “I can teleport back,” Raven looked at him. “There’s no way you’ll be working for almost five hours.”

“Do you really believe that?” he quirked an eyebrow. 

“I will see you at 2 a.m.,” Raven smiled as the scissor door lifted. “Thank you,” she said before waving at a blonde girl who he assumed was Raven’s friend.

“Have fun. Don’t do drugs,” Tim said. Raven gave him a playful look that said ‘shut up’ “Wait!” Tim shouted before his doors closed. Raven waited as Tim pulled off the leather jacket he was wearing and handed it to her. Raven slowly reached for it. “Just in case it gets cold inside,” he smiled.

“Um, thank you,” Raven blushed.

“Have fun,” Tim said as the doors closed. Raven then watched as Tim sped off into the night. She brought the leather jacket up to her face, inhaling Tim’s scent. “Uh,” Raven jumped when she heard Tabitha appear next to her. “Who was that?”

“A close friend,” Raven smiled. “I’ll introduce you someday. You ready?”

“Yeah, _chica_. Let’s go.”

* * *

Tim weaved in and out of traffic, his mind on his team and the past month. He pulled into the parking garage of one of his safehouses and sat in the darkness. His thoughts went to Raven. As tough as this past month had been on his team, it had been even worse for Raven. She had nightmares every night – his room was across from hers, and the shadows surrounding her eyes were a dead giveaway. She wasn’t eating – he accidentally happened upon her in a sport’s bra around 2 a.m. one night when he needed more coffee. Her ribs were scary visible. Tim grabbed his fob and exited his vehicle as his thoughts continued rolling. Tim didn’t even want to think about the pallor of Raven’s skin - he was probably the only one who noticed just how pale she’d become. Her eyes were wide and glazed over all the time. She shook almost as much as a chihuahua, and, according to Garfield, she startled easily. Raven never startled. Even after their relationship ended, Beast Boy still gave Raven encouraging pats on the head and shoulders. Earlier today, however, she almost threw him into a wall. Garfield probably exaggerated the last part, but still. Tim exited the elevator, shooting a quick text to Oracle, asking her to investigate the incident that took place earlier today. Something about it wasn’t sitting right with him. Also, Raven had been giving off all sorts of tells. She was obviously involved somehow. Why had she been 40 miles on the other side of the town? 

He entered his apartment and looked around it with a smile as he remembered Raven calling it ‘Timified.’ _Fifteen coffee makers._ Raven was almost right. Although he had one coffee maker, he currently owned coffee from 15 different countries lined his shelves, and he had multiple computers and screens. They didn’t line his walls like they did in the batcave, but it was close. There was a bathroom, a kitchen, and a futon where he slept. He had no use for the empty bedroom. At 18, he was already a workaholic. He switched on his computers before making himself a cup of his least potent coffee. He thought about Superboy and Wonder Girl as he did so. Cassie had been as much a ghost as Raven had. She was regretting the breakup with Connor. Tim advised her not to do it, but Cassie did as Cassie does. It took him a while to figure the demi-goddess out. Dick and Jason liked to joke that he had a weakness for blondes. _Like they didn’t have their own weaknesses for redheads and females in general,_ Tim scoffed as he poured coffee into his 21 oz. mug. Oracle messaged him back. No cameras in the area. She did, however, the hospital where the men injured were staying. Red Robin was going to have to pay these men a visit.

* * *

Red Robin crept into the room of a Mr. John Adams with ease. Of the two severely injured men, he was the more likely to recover. He looked at the chart the nurse had left hanging on the end of the bedpost. _Crushed larynx._ Great, Red Robin thought, the guy would barely be able to speak. _Broken clavicle. Humerus fracture in both arms. Shattered ribcage, broken pelvis? What happened?_ Judging from the amount of pain meds given him, Mr. John was going to be barely lucid. At least he was no longer catatonic, like his partner in crime in the other room.

Ensuring the nurses weren’t anywhere in the vicinity, Red Robin put pressure on the IV tube. Time for Mr. John Adams to wake up. Moments later, John Adams’ eyes opened, and he moaned in pain. Red Robin was just happy his jaw wasn’t broken…like one of John’s construction worker buddies. John’s eyes widened in horror when he saw who was standing above him. He began to panic, but Red Robin placed a hand over his mouth. “I’m going to uncover your mouth, and you’re not going to scream,” Red Robin said. John slowly nodded in understanding. Red Robin slowly removed his hand. “It was an accident,” the man croaked, “we didn’t mean nothing. It was Billy’s idea anyway.” Red Robin raised a brow behind his mask. He hadn’t even asked John anything, but… “What happened?” Red Robin demanded.

“We were taking a break,” John began as genuine tears rolled down his face, “and this teenage girl was walking by.”

“Describe her.”

“Cute?”

Red Robin clenched his jaw. “Black hair. Tight black jeans. Belly shirt,” the guy continued at Red Robin’s stare, “a crow or something tattooed on her lower back. Extremely pale. Very depressed. Didn’t seem to know where she was. Billy said she probably didn’t even speak English.”

“You were going to attack a defenseless girl who may or may not have understood you?”

“She was not defenseless!” the guy tried to scream, but it sounded more like a smoker’s cough.

“What. Happened,” Red Robin growled, leaning closer to the guy, pressing his free hand on an angry bruise on the guy’s face. John flinched. “Billy got in front of her and began flirting. She wasn’t into it. Then I stood behind her. We were just having a bit of fun. We didn’t mean nothing,” tears rolled down Mr. Adams’ face.

“Continue,” Red Robin let his disgust show.

“She tried to walk past, but Billy blocked her.”

“Your parents ever teach you no means no?” Red Robin asked.

“We didn’t mean anything,” the guy whimpered pathetically. “Billy reached for her hair to compliment her. Next thing I know, a black tendril is wrapping around my body like a snake, and a large hand was wrapped around Bill’s throat. She turned to look at me, but the chick had four red eyes. She wasn’t human, I tell you. She then used her black…magic to lift him off the ground. He was trying to apologize, but she wouldn’t let him speak. If we’d known she was a meta, we wouldn’t have egged her on.” John flinched at the hateful glare Red Robin seemed to send his way. “Then what?” Red Robin asked, his body quivering with rage.

“I don’t know. She seemed to snap out of whatever haze she’d been in and disappeared. We didn’t mean nothin’, I swear,” the guy said. Red Robin released the IV tube, leaving before John’s eyes closed. He needed to get out of there before he did something he regretted.

* * *

Taking his mask off after he returned to his safehouse, Tim almost threw it across the room. He was so mad. And poor Raven. But still, the whole encounter…Raven was the most in control person Tim knew…besides Batman. He was missing something. He pulled out his Titan communicator and called Miss Martian. “M’gann,” Tim said, “I hope I’m not interrupting, but I need you to do something for me.”


	4. Chapter 4

Raven hadn’t been sure of this when Tabitha suggested it. She had been even less sure about this concert when she entered the club. Dark Mistress must have blown up since she last saw them. This place was packed. Then again…Friday night. Regardless, Raven was regretting her decision to attend this concert. Bodies were everywhere – pushing and shoving and rubbing against her. She hated it. Everyone’s emotions and thoughts began pressing on her mind. She started to panic. She wanted to puke, but before she could do anything, her mind entered a sort of haze…a numbness. She felt nothing. Nothing. It was pleasant. It was terrifying, but her head wasn’t hurting. The place was packed, and she felt nothing. Before she knew it, Tabitha placed a glass in her hand. “Here,” Tabitha said.

“What is this?” Raven shouted over the music, no longer feeling fear.

“These two guys bought me tequila,” Tabitha danced in place. Raven looked at the alcohol somewhat skeptically. She didn’t drink. She didn’t like what it did to her mind. “Come on, Rachel!” Tabitha encouraged. “Live a little!” Raven sighed. She would only have one. She placed the glass on her lips and threw her head back. The liquid didn’t go down her throat smoothly. She hated it. “Eww,” she shoved the empty glass into Tabitha’s hand. “No more, and stop accepting drinks from strange men.” Tabitha threw her head back and laughed as she returned to the bar. Realizing her friend was not going to take her advice, Raven sent a whispered spell Tabitha’s way. That way, any date-rape drugs that possibly entered Tabitha’s system would have zero effect. Tabitha returned from the bar with more drinks within minutes. “Tabitha,” Raven groaned.

“I can’t help if guys want to buy us drinks,” Tabitha shrugged.

“Is that tequila?” Raven asked with a raised brow before Tabitha could throw back the shot in her hand. Tabitha nodded enthusiastically as a roar came from the crowd, and Dark Mistress took the stage. The place became twice as loud as the lead singer began a haunting melody. Smoke filled the stage as a strange sensation crawled up Raven’s arms. Quelling the rising panic, Raven immediately threw on Tim’s leather jacket and inhaled his scent. An ache filled her chest, an overwhelming need to find Tim and throw her arms around him because she knew she’d be safe in his embrace. “You good?” Tabitha nudged Raven. Raven gave her friend a stiff smile before grabbing one of the many drinks on their small table. Raven didn’t like alcohol, but maybe it would help dissipate the strange numbness and pining for Tim she was suddenly feeling.

* * *

M’gann stared at her Titan teammate's frozen figure as she took in the surroundings vis-à-vis John Adams, the final mind she would visit. After taking in Raven’s posture, M’gann exited the sedated man’s mind and returned to Red Robin, who was waiting for her on top of a church. “So?” he asked.

“Mr. John Adams was telling the truth, it seems,” M’gann said.

“So, Raven lost control…again.”

“I don’t know if she lost control,” M’gann said. “I just watched the scene from 20 different viewpoints. It was more like something inside of Raven was triggered to protect her.”

“Your uncle said Raven wasn’t compromised.”

“And I believe he’s right. I believe whatever is wrong with Superboy is also affecting Raven.” Red Robin stared at Miss Martian as she continued. “We know Superboy has some telepathic capabilities. Minor, but present. And every expert who’s examined Superboy has said there is nothing physically or even mentally wrong with him. Superboy’s subconscious is keeping Superboy in a coma.” Red Robin nodded. “Raven can’t remember anything from that night, and my uncle said it was like she didn’t see what happened. What if her subconscious is blocking her from remembering whatever happened? I don’t know,” Miss Martian shook her red hair. “It sounds dumb saying it out loud.”

“No,” Red Robin encouraged, “you may be on to something. Of course, there’s no way for us to know what happened that night at the club because Raven completely decimated the place.”

“No…cell phone footage or something?”

“No. Whatever happened that night, her powers took out everything.”

“Nobody died?”

“Surprisingly, no. Seventy people were injured, but no casualties. And the only other person who could tell us what happened is Dr. Light, and he’s gone underground.”

“Red Robin,” Miss Martian looked at him with wide eyes, “are we even sure Dr. Light is still alive?” Red Robin didn’t have a response. That was a good question. Did Raven accidentally kill Dr. Light?

Raven stumbled into the women’s bathroom. Whatever effect the alcohol was supposed to have wasn’t working, which was entirely shocking considering her half-human DNA. She’d been so hopeful, but after countless shots and fruity beverages…it was like everyone’s thoughts and emotions were on full blast. She couldn’t focus. Raven braced herself on the sink as a wall of panic and nausea hit her. _Azar_ , she was receiving everyone’s thoughts. She didn’t even know which ones were hers. “Hey,” a voice next to her that seemed faraway said, “are you okay?” Raven wanted to be alone. “Hey,” someone shook her shoulder.

“What!” Raven’s cold eyes snapped to the stranger trying to help her. The girl squeaked before running away. Raven hadn't meant to scare the kind girl, but she was feeling rage. Unbridled rage, and she wasn’t sure if it belonged to her. Raven looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red. She only had one pair, _thank Azar._ But they were red. She was…pissed. “ _Rachel!”_ the recognizable voice of her friend Tabitha called out. Raven panicked. She could not have her friend seeing her like this while she was trying to play human. Raven quickly dove into an empty stall. “Rachel!” Tabitha called out, having finally entered the large bathroom. “Are you in here? Rachel?”

“I’m just using the bathroom,” Raven answered in what she hoped was a calm voice. Tears came to her eyes as the pain in her head intensified. “I’ll be out shortly. It’s…that time of the month.”

“Okay,” Raven heard concern in Tabitha’s voice, “I’ll be right outside the bathroom.” Raven hummed in acknowledgment, only emerging when she no longer sensed Tabitha’s presence. Raven once again stumbled to the sink and ran the cold water, splashing it onto her face. Looking into the mirror once more, she was shocked to see she was no longer in Verdant. She was back at the club where Dr. Light attacked. Memories – she wasn’t sure who’s memories – began playing in her head.

_“Superboy,” she growled at him. Red Robin wanted them to wait, but no. He had to storm into the club, guns blazing, because of Cassie. So, being the good teammate that she was, Raven teleported into the club looking for Superboy. Green confetti and sparkles were in the air, and bodies littered the floor. Raven stepped over the unconscious bodies after sensing the pulses in all of them as she searched for Superboy. A sharp pain filled her head. Raven released a painful, gut-wrenching scream as she fell over._

Raven opened her eyes with a gasp, realizing she was crouched in the bathroom corner, not the only one screaming. The building was shaking; people screamed; a crack ran through the ground as windows and mirrors shattered. Raven could sense everyone’s panic, and it was debilitating. She needed to get people out and to safety. It was when she went to summon her powers did she realize she was causing the quake. Her hands, usually glowing black, were glowing white…which was dangerous. Raven began focusing on her breathing, using all her energy, calming herself utilizing every type of therapeutic breathing she’d ever learned as pieces of ceiling began to fall around her. 

Just when she was about to collapse from exhaustion, the shaking stopped. Her hands were no longer glowing, and she was being rained on. Raven looked up into the night sky. Part of the roof was gone, and a thunderstorm just so happened to be passing by. The fire alarm was going off as people ran in every direction. Snapping out of whatever haze she’d been in, Raven ran out the bathroom into the club. Light fixtures were down; glass and debris were everywhere; people were crying and holding bloody body parts…this was beginning to remind her of Dr. Light’s attack. Never mind that for now, she needed to find Tabitha.

“Tabitha?” Raven called out, but it was too loud. There was no way Tabita would be able to hear her. Also, Raven couldn’t even use her powers to sense Tabitha. Though no longer overwhelmed, Raven was weak and exhausted. She was no use to anyone in this state. Muttering a quick apology to innocent bystanders around her, Raven quickly summoned what was left of her powers and teleported to the alley out back. Thunder and lightning struck from above as the rain came down in torrents. Just a stellar ending to an equally stellar day, she thought wryly as she navigated the dark alley. Sirens could be heard a mile away. EMTs and first responders would soon arrive, and she couldn’t be here. She needed to leave. She needed to return to the tower. She longed for a warm shower and her bed. Both would have to wait. She didn’t have the energy to fly or teleport. It was going to be a very long walk.

* * *

Tim stared at the scene in front of him as he sat in his car. An entire block had been taped off. Ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars were everywhere. Only half of Verdant was still standing. Thunder roared ahead as lightning cracked the sky. He’d been sitting in this spot for thirty minutes. The rain showed no signs of letting up. If anything, it was worsening. Tim looked at his phone. Raven still hadn’t returned any of his text messages or voicemails. Though, the earthquake that had only damaged one building had only happened 30 minutes before he arrived. If Raven were the cause, she wouldn’t stick around. She’d be too embarrassed. If he knew Raven, and he liked to think that he did, she was probably already back at the tower. Tim put his car in gear and sped to the Tower. He really hoped she was okay.

Half-way to the tower, Raven felt some of her powers return. She was able to successfully teleport to her room without being spotted. She quickly stripped out her wet clothes and threw on the closest pair of pajamas she could find before immediately drying her hair. A gentle tug on her emotions let her know someone was at the door. Raven turned off the dryer and opened her room door before the person could knock. “Hey,” Miss Martian greeted brightly. After her uncle had given Raven the all-clear, M’gann had been treating Raven nicely. Too nicely. Miss Martian always had a happy, bright personality; however, lately, it seemed a bit…over the top when it came to her interactions with Raven. “You’re back early,” M’gann said. Raven looked at the time. 2:15. “I thought Dark Mistress concerts usually lasted hours and hours. Garfield said the concerts would end at 5 in the morning.”

“That is a huge exaggeration,” Raven said. “They usually end around this time. I would stay and chat with the band. But I’d be home before 5 in the morning. This time, though, I was tired and had a huge headache.”

“Did you stay until the end?”

“No,” Raven answered. “I left early. Walked around.”

“In the rain?” Miss Martian asked with widened eyes.

“Y-Yes,” Raven answered slowly.

“Okay,” M’gann chirped, happy with that answer, “I just wanted to see-“

“Raven!” Both girls looked in the direction of the voice. It was Tim. Sweet, adorable, warm, Tim. Raven bit her lip and looked away. He was way too attractive; it really wasn’t fair. He had 100% human DNA and looked like a god. “You’re back, Raven,” his voice sent shivers down her spine.

“Yeah. I was telling M’gann I didn’t feel well, so I left early. Oh, my Azar!” Raven gasped, “I didn’t text you. I should have texted you to let you know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Tim held up his hand. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Yeah,” Raven folded her arms protectively, a gesture that was not lost on Tim or M’gann. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Raven asked as her body tensed.

“There was an earthquake.” Raven and M’gann exchanged glances.

“Here?” Raven feigned ignorance.

“I didn’t feel anything,” M’gann said, not feigning ignorance.

“Neither did I,” Raven looked at Tim, hoping that she was convincing.

“No,” Tim said, “I was driving past Verdant. Part of the building was down. The entire block had been taped off. Cops and EMTs were everywhere.” Raven began to tremble as her breath became heavy. “Raven?” Tim looked at her in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I – I left Tabitha,” she gasped, getting the focus from her. “I need to call and make sure…” her voice trailed off as she ran back into her room, not seeing the looks exchanged by the two other Titans. Raven returned to the door moments later. “I can’t find my phone,” she said as tears came to her eyes. Tears. She didn’t know why they were there, but they were. “I must have left it at the club,” she covered a gasp with her hand.

“You know her number? Use mine,” Tim gave her his phone. Raven gave him a grateful look as she dialed. “ _Hello?”_ she heard her friend’s voice on the other side of the phone. Raven released the breath she’d been holding. “Tabitha,” Raven said.

“ _Rachel? Where are you calling from?”_

“I’m using someone’s phone. I think I left mine inside.” Tabitha swore. “Where are you?” Raven asked.

_“I’m fine. The EMTs checked me out and told me I was free to go. I tried looking for you, but with everything that’s going on...”_

“I’m fine,” Raven quickly assuaged her friend’s concerns. “I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”

“ _Yeah. But are you okay? You don’t seem…well.”_

 _“_ I have to give this guy his phone back, but I’ll see you on Monday,” Raven said, ignoring the last thing Tabitha had said. “Hopefully, I’ll have found my phone by then.” 

“ _You’re using a guy’s phone_?” Tabitha’s voice piqued with interest. “ _Is he cute_?”

“Goodbye, Tabitha,” Raven said before hanging up. She turned to see Tim and M’gann still standing in her doorway, both studying her curiously. “Thank you,” Raven shyly gave the phone back to Tim. “I mentioned you were a guy, so she may call you back.”

“But she doesn’t know who I am,” Tim smiled charmingly.

“That won’t stop her. You’re a guy, and thus, fair game.”

“Is she okay?” Tim asked. Raven nodded. “Good,” both M’gann and Tim breathed.

“Well,” M’gann said, “I was going to invite Raven to have waffles with me, Garfield, and Rose, but you seem tired.”

“Maybe another time,” Raven said. The Martian smiled brightly before disappearing into the floor. Tim and Raven stared silently at each other. “Um…” Raven said, her heart racing in her chest at his intense stare. “I have your jacket.” Raven ran to her bed, picking up Tim’s leather jacket. “I’m sorry, it’s wet,” she stated shyly.

“Did you walk in the rain?” Tim asked with a raised brow, taking it from her.

“Yeah. I just needed air,” Raven finished pathetically.

“Okay.” The two stared at each other in silence. “Well,” Raven said, “goodnight.”

“I talked to John Adams,” Tim blurted out before Raven closed the door.

“Who?” Raven asked with a raised brow.

“A construction worker injured in today’s accident,” Raven stared blankly at Tim, knowing where this conversation was going. “He described a pale girl with a tattoo on her lower back. He thought it was a crow, but you and I both know it’s a raven.” Raven blinked. She didn’t want to lie to Tim, but she also didn’t want to talk. “Okay, and?” Raven asked.

“Raven,” Tim took a big step forward. Raven automatically took a big step back. _That_ confused him. Was she afraid of him? “Raven, what were you thinking? You could have killed someone.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Raven’s arms wrapped around her middle protectively. “It was an accident.” Tim stepped further into her room. The door automatically closed behind him, and Raven was hit with intense fear and panic. She had never in her life battled claustrophobia, but she seemed to be fighting it now. It didn’t make sense because her room was anything but tiny. She mentally began reciting every Azarathian poem she had memorized to calm herself. It seemed to work. “Raven?” she heard Tim say her name questioningly, bringing her back to reality. “What…were you even listening?” he asked.

“It was an accident,” she repeated.

“What were you doing on that side of town, anyway? That’s nowhere near here, and it’s a good 40 miles from your school.”

“I know. I don’t know why I was there,” Raven seemed to fold into herself. “I don’t know.”

“Raven,” Tim reached a hand out to place on her shoulder, but Raven quickly moved away from him before he could. _Odd,_ Tim thought. “Raven,” he said softly, his blue eyes gazing at her kindly, “you know you can talk to me. About anything. I won’t judge you.”

“I know, and I know you want to talk about the club and stuff or whatever. But I _really_ am tired. Can we please do this later?” she begged. Tim stared at her for a moment before slowly nodding. “And we will finish this discussion tomorrow,” he said firmly. Raven nodded as he walked out the door. She breathed a huge sigh of relief and fell back onto her bed, ready and willing to call it a day.


	5. Chapter 5

Raven tossed and turned in her sleep. _She was running. She didn’t know what she was running from, but she was running. Raven could only watch helplessly as the faceless little girl turned into an alleyway. Raven tried to warn the girl that it was a dead-end, but she couldn’t. Raven couldn’t make a sound. Putting her hands to her throat, Raven realized she had no voice. She could only stand by and watch helplessly as black giants resembling shadows began to converge onto the girl who was now curled up in a ball…trapped. Raven sense what these shadows had planned for this girl – the same thing Trigon had done to her mom._

_Raven reached out to the terrified girl, trying to run to her, but she couldn’t move her feet. Raven looked down. She was standing in wet cement, sinking. Raven called on her powers to help her. Nothing. She looked at her hands desperately. The little girl began fighting the shadows as they dragged her towards a pit in the middle of the street. The girl fought and screamed and clawed at the ground in terror. Raven began fighting against the cement, but the more she resisted, the faster she sunk. The girl started screaming; Raven continued fighting as she sunk to her neck. Suddenly, she stopped sinking. The cement hardened around her throat, and she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move her hands or feet. Tears streamed down her face. Lights flashed in her eyes. Anger and Fear fought for dominance. Someone had their hand in her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs. She couldn’t take it. With everything she had left in her, Raven released a terrific scream. “Aaaaaaahhhh!”_

_“Raven!” a shadow said. “Raven!” the shadow lunged at her._

“Raven!”

Raven gasped as her eyes opened. Someone was shaking her and screaming. Turns out, she was the one screaming, and Tim was on top of her, shaking her. Raven sat up quickly, knocking Tim off balance. She scrambled to the corner of her bed, looking around wide-eyed in a panic as things in her room continued to break and fall off shelves. “Raven,” Tim calmly approached her, holding a hand out to her. “It’s okay.” Raven looked around erratically. Her hair, wet with sweat, clung to her face. “Raven,” Tim’s blue eyes stared at her softly. “You’re safe.”

“Dude! What happened?” Garfield barged into her room, followed by Bart, Rose, and M’gann staring at her wide-eyed. M’gann immediately approached the shaking empath, reaching out with her powers. Raven shook her head as tears clouded her vision. She didn’t want the Martian in her head. “I got this,” Tim said, not turning to look at his teammates. He gently took Raven’s hand in his.

“But-“

“I got this,” he said firmly, sending relaxing thoughts Raven’s way. The shaking soon stopped as Raven got her breathing under control. “You’re okay,” he smiled encouragingly. “You’re okay.” The rest of the Titans stood frozen in their spots. “Are you good?” Rose asked, her sky-blue eyes darting between Tim and Raven, who had yet to break eye contact with each other.

“We’re good,” Tim mentally urged his teammates to leave. M’gann quickly caught on. “Come on, guys,” she said, pushing Garfield and Bart out the door. “Let’s leave them alone.” Bart and Garfield only mumbled incoherently before Bart sped back to his room, leaving the others in his wake.

Tim didn’t speak until he was sure the other Titans were out of hearing distance. “You want to talk about it?” he asked. Raven shook her head mutely. She didn’t even know how to talk about what she’d dreamt. She looked at Tim desperately. “I…” she began, “I…” Before she could say anything, Cassie burst through Raven’s room door, breaking it in the process. “Something’s wrong with Connor!” she gasped worriedly.

“What!” Tim and Raven both exclaimed. “Raven,” Tim said, “maybe you should stay he-“ Ignoring Tim’s protests, Raven scrambled off her bed and teleported to the infirmary. “Connor?” Raven breathed, placing her hands on his bed. Connor was groaning in pain and twisting. M’gann was there, looking over the monitors worriedly. “Connor?” Raven placed a healing hand on his arm.

“Raven,” M’gann warned. Instead of the usual calming effect, her healing did the opposite. His blue eyes popped open, and he screamed, “Raven!” Raven jumped back, scared. “What are you doing?” Cassie cried as she and Tim appeared.

“I was just trying to heal him,” Raven answered. 

“It’s true,” M’gann said, standing up for Raven. Connor was now back to his comatose self. “He’s not awake anymore,” Cassie ran to his side. “He was just awake.” She then looked at Raven with accusatory eyes. “What did you do?” Cassie’s eyes flashed dangerously.

“I was trying to heal him,” Raven repeated in a broken voice.

“He was calling for Raven,” M’gann said.

“I know,” Cassie snapped at her.

“Cass,” Tim warned.

“Why was he calling Raven’s name?” Cassie demanded. All eyes turned to Raven. “I don’t know,” Raven backed up.

“Of course, you wouldn’t know,” Cassie sneered before turning back to Connor. Raven’s heart began to beat hard as her anger began to rise. _“Hurt her,”_ an angry voice whispered in her head.

“No,” Raven whispered sharply in response, but Tim heard her.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Huh?” The tower warning lights began going off. Moments later, Kid Flash sped into the room. “You guys won’t believe this,” he said. “Dr. Light is robbing a bank.” A strange sort of nausea rose in Raven. Tim began giving commands, but Raven wasn’t paying attention. His voice sounded miles away. Raven’s nightmare came rushing back to her. A faceless girl was running from faceless shadows. Faceless shadows. “I…” Raven felt her body begin to sway.

“Guys,” she heard Bart say, “Raven doesn’t look good.” Raven then felt her legs turn to Jell-O as she hit the floor. A faceless shadow stood over her. Raven wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. Her eyes grew wide in horror. It was her nightmare all over again. “No!” Raven whipped her head to the side. She began to fight for air as black spots filled her vision. “Guys,” another voice sounded in the distance. “Connor is having a seizure!”

“Raven!” Raven felt her body began to shake as multiple dark figures loomed over her. Her fear spiked through the roof as a giant hand reached for her face. What was going on? She couldn’t move! She couldn’t breathe! That… _thing_ was about to attack her. Raven released a panicked scream before her eyes suddenly grew heavy. “I’m right here, Raven,” she heard Tim’s voice in her ear. “I’m right here.”

* * *

Miss Martian, Ravager, Kid Flash, and Beast Boy confronted Dr. Light. Red Robin wanted to go, but he was outvoted. To be honest, he didn’t put up much of a fight. With Raven currently unconscious, there was no way he’d be able to concentrate on the battle at hand. He knew it, and so did everyone else. The four Titans returned looking worse for wear. Both Kid Flash and Beast Boy sported nasty burns. Half of Ravager’s outfit was singed, and Miss Martian looked out of it. “I tried to read his mind,” she said, “but he electrocuted me.”

“Dude has to be juicing,” Beast Boy moaned from his spot on the floor.

“Agreed,” Kid Flash said as he rummaged through the freezer, looking for ice.

“Bart,” Tim pinched the bridge of his nose, “you can’t put ice on a third-degree burn.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” Bart asked.

“I got this,” Rose patted Tim on the back. “Garfield!” she shouted, “infirmary.” He moaned before slowly following. Tim turned back to M’gann. “Anything else?” Tim asked.

“Well, Dr. Light got away. He does seem to be taking some type of power enhancement. And…” she bit her lip.

“What, M’gann?” Tim urged. He was so tired. “He asked after Superboy and Raven…and Wonder Girl.”

“What?”

“Mentally. Before I blacked out, I read his mind…a little. He wanted to finish what he started with Superboy and Raven…and Wonder Girl was somehow involved.” Tim’s face scrunched in intense thought. “What is going on?” he asked aloud as he rubbed his temples. He looked at Miss Martian. She looked exhausted, and the sun was beginning to rise. “M’gann,” he said, “go get some rest.”

“How’s Raven?” she asked.

“She’s asleep in my room.”

“Is that wise?”

“She came to a few minutes after you guys left. Her room is a little…messy right now,” he answered. Miss Martian nodded before yawning. “Go to bed, M’gann. I’ve got Raven.”

“Okay,” she tiredly sunk into the floor. “Night…or morning.” Tim looked at the clock. Was it really only 4:00 a.m. Saturday? It felt like ages since last night. The coffee was wearing off. He needed to sleep.

* * *

Raven shivered as she stared at a blank wall in Tim’s room. She pulled his covers up to her chin. Apparently, while Raven had been stuck in a nightmare, the Tower quaked; things broke; Connor kept screaming her name desperately; her room looked like the aftermath of a hurricane. The only items still standing were her bookshelves. She was once again thankful that she had the wherewithal to put a protective spell on her books. Dr. Light attacked, and she passed out cold and may have seized upon receiving that information. Another shiver worked its way up Raven’s spine as she burrowed even deeper into Tim’s bed. What was wrong with her? Seizing? Passing out? Wrecking the tower over a nightmare? This wasn’t her. Why was she so scared of everything? The door to Tim’s room swooshed open, and Raven immediately sat up, ready to defend herself. “It’s just me,” Tim said, taking in her defensive body language. “It’s just me.” Raven nodded mutely, watching as Tim began pulling extra blankets and pillows from his closet. “What are you doing?” Raven asked quietly.

“I thought I’d sleep on the floor or in the common room or one of the empty rooms,” he answered.

“No,” Raven stated, surprising herself and Tim, “sleep here.”

“You want me to sleep on the floor in here?” he asked. Raven shook her head before making room on the bed beside her. “You want to share the bed?” his eyes nearly bulged out his head.

“It’s big enough,” Raven stated with a shrug. Tim stared at her, gauging her body language. Tears began to fill Raven’s eyes. “Tim,” she whispered, “please. I – I – I don’t know what’s going on. I just…I don’t want to be alone.” A lone tear rolled down her face. Tim’s face softened. “I will share the bed with you,” he said. Raven visibly relaxed. “But I’m warning you,” he said, climbing into bed next to her, “I drool in my sleep.” Raven laughed softly. “I think I’ll manage,” she said, curling into his body after he settled. Tim pulled her even closer, surprised that she was allowing this. “You’ll be okay,” he whispered. “You’ll be okay.”

* * *

Tim stroked the empath’s hair as she slept soundly, his mind replaying her nightmare. He’d never heard Raven scream like that before. That scream was a gut-wrenching, horror-filled noise he never wanted to hear again. And when her eyes flew open, all he saw was terror. Stone cold terror. Her skin was clammy, she was shaking uncontrollably, and she was terrified. 

Raven began to whimper in her sleep again, and Tim kissed her forehead, causing her to stop. He’d done that three times so far. His mind went back to the infirmary. Connor began seizing, and then Raven. Maybe she and Connor were somehow mentally connected. It would explain a lot. Time then shook his head. Who was he kidding? That would explain absolutely nothing at all.

Tim felt something wet on his upper arm. He looked down. Raven was beginning to cry in her sleep. Tim gently wiped the tears away, careful not to wake the exhausted empath. “You’re okay, Rae,” he whispered softly. He needed to figure out what was going on, for the sake of the girl in his arms…and the team, too. But mainly Raven. She was the one he loved most.


	6. Chapter 6

Carefully disentangling herself from the warmth of Tim’s arms, the empath slowly crawled out of bed. Double-checking that Tim was still sleeping, Raven slowly crept from the room. There was someone she needed to visit, and she needed to do it now while Cassie was showering, and no one else was awake. 

* * *

Double-checking that Cassie was indeed in the shower, Raven then teleported to the infirmary where Connor lay. The steady beep of the heart monitors the only thing letting them know he was still alive. Raven slowly scanned his body with her healing powers. Yep, everything was fine. He was fine. Why wasn’t he waking up? Her rage began to grow. This wasn’t fair. He was lying there soundly, leaving her to deal with the fallout of whatever happened at that nightclub a month ago. Things in the room began to rattle as Raven clenched her fists. “Wake up,” she commanded him slightly, staring at his still face. “Wake up.” She gripped the rails of his bed. The side rails flashed with her powers, and Raven quickly stepped back with a gasp, calming herself. Closing her eyes, regulating her breathing, Raven drew her powers back into her body. “I am so sorry,” Raven whispered to the unconscious Connor. “I just…I don’t know what happened,” her voice taking a more woeful tone. Tears began to pool in her eyes. “I don’t know what to do; I don’t-“

“What are you doing here?” she heard a sharp voice ask. Raven didn’t need to turn to see who it was, but she did anyway. There was Cassie, leaning against the doorway, glaring at her. Raven tried not to shrink at the angry glare being thrown her way visibly. “Nothing,” Raven replied as confidently as possible in her shaky voice. She had just as much right to be here as Cassie. She wasn’t going to let this half-Amazon bully her. Filling her confidence rise, Raven solidified her stance. “I was only talking to Connor,” Raven crossed her arms.

“He’s like this because of you,” Cassie stepped forward. Raven rolled her eyes. _This_ again. “What are you talking about?” Raven asked as her temper began to rise.

“If you hadn’t lost control, Connor wouldn’t be in this position! It’s on you if he dies!”

“Shut up, Cassie!” Raven exploded. “All of a sudden you care so much about Connor and his feelings. Who do you think you’re fooling?” Raven mocked. “You didn’t seem to care about him when you were breaking up with him…again.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Raven grew bolder. “You love Connor; you don’t love Connor. You love Tim; you don’t love Tim. You love Connor; you don’t love Connor. Gosh, are you going to chase after Tim now?” Raven stepped toward Cassie, who, shocked at the empath’s outburst, took a small step back. Raven kept trying to tell herself to shut up, but she wasn’t listening…to herself. Raven balled up her fists as she continued ranting. “You don’t have a monopoly on Connor and Tim’s love lives! We’re all so sick of it!” Raven didn’t know why she was so angry, but every hair on her body seemed to stand with rage. Cassie’s face reddened as she marched up to Raven. “Just because J’ohnn and M’gann cleared you of all wrongdoing doesn’t mean we all think you’re innocent!”

“Tell it to someone who cares, Cassie,” Raven spat, “I’m done with you! Raven brushed past Cassie, but not before hearing Cassie say, _Zatanna was right. You are the devil._ The next thing Raven knew, she had Cassie pinned to the floor with her hand around Cassie’s neck. “What did you say?” Raven growled, reading fear in the demi-goddess’ eyes. Cassie answered with a gasp. “You think I’m the devil?” Raven put even more pressure on Cassie’s throat, listening as a few bones began to _crack_.

“I didn’t…say anything…” Cassie gasped in pain.

“I heard you, you stupid whore!” Raven’s voice began to change as her hand tightened around Cassie’s neck.

“Raven,” Cassie gasped, trying to push the empath off her. Suddenly, Raven released Cassie with a gasp, jumping off her body. Cassie rolled onto her hands and knees, coughing and hacking, inhaling gulps of air. “What the fuck!” Cassie tried to scream at Raven. Raven didn’t say anything or even look at the Amazon. Her attention was on her two hands, crackling with uncontrollable black energy. She looked at the enraged Amazon apologetically. Had Cassie been paying more attention, she would have seen fear in Raven’s large eyes. “I…” Raven slowly backed away. Raven looked at Cassie’s neck. The white skin was now a sick purple and blue. “Cassie,” Raven reached towards the Amazon. Cassie flinched, backing away from Raven as she held her neck in pain. “I’m sorry,” Raven cried, not believing she hurt her teammate. She needed to get out of here. She created a portal and jumped through it, going anywhere that wasn’t here.

* * *

“What do you mean, Raven attacked you?” Tim asked, rubbing his tired eyes as he stood in the doorway of his bedroom.

“What I said,” Cassie repeated herself. “Look,” she wrenched down the collar of the sleeveless turtleneck she was wearing. Tim’s eyes bulged as he took in the purple and blue covering Cassie’s neck. That was not okay. “Did you instigate it?”

“Seriously?” Cassie shot him a dark look.

“I’m sorry,” Tim said. “It’s just…Raven wouldn’t attack unless something was wrong.”

“Are you seriously sticking up for her right now? She just tried to kill me.”

“Raven was raised a pacifist,” Tim stated.

“And?” Cassie shot at him, thoroughly enraged. Tim didn’t know what to say to that. “First Connor, now me. She’s probably controlling you,” Cassie accused.

“Okay,” Tim narrowed his eyes, “that’s enough. Raven is our teammate and friend. And right now, she isn’t well.”

“Neither is Connor!”

“But Connor is safe right now! He isn’t going anywhere! Raven should be our main concern!”

“She tried to kill me!”

“And I’m saying she wouldn’t do that on purpose!”

“Your love for her is blinding you,” Cassie said.

“Cassie,” Tim said her name warningly.

“Uh!” Cassie threw her hands up in the air dramatically as she was wont to do sometimes. “How many more buildings does Raven have to destroy before you realize she’s completely unhinged?”

“What is going on?” Miss Martian appeared, taking in her two teammates' furious expressions. “Your thoughts are all over the place,” Cassie answered by yanking down the neck of her turtleneck. “Cassie, what happened?” Miss Martian’s eyes clouded with worry.

“Raven attacked me,” terrible anger flashed in Cassie’s blue eyes.

“On purpose?” Miss Martian questioned, getting a closer look at the injury.

“Yes!” Cassie screamed. “Why is that so hard for you two to believe?” Tim groaned, rubbing his temples. It was too early for this. 

“Fine,” Cassie said, “you two continue defending the little demon. I’m done with her.” Cassie turned on her heel and stormed out the hallway. Miss Martian only looked at Tim and asked, “Raven attacked Cassie? What happened?”

“I don’t know,” he said, “she didn’t give me the whole story.”

“Well, if it’s true…”

“Yeah, but I don’t think Cassie would lie,” Tim crossed his arms and leaned on his doorframe.

“Do you think Raven would attack her own teammate and friend?”

“Not without reason.”

“Well, where is Raven?”

“I don’t know,” Tim sighed. “She was gone when I woke up.”

“When you woke up?” Miss Martian looked at him funny as Tim’s eyes widened at the implication. “Wait…did she…did you two…did you sleep with Raven?” she asked with a hint of a smile.

“Not like that,” Tim answered quickly. “We slept next to each other and-“

“Cuddled?” Miss Martian interrupted with a big smile.

“I’m going to go look for Raven,” Tim said, changing the subject. “Just…make sure Cassie doesn’t do anything regrettable.” Miss Martian merely smiled at him. Tim rolled his eyes at her before reentering his room. He needed coffee.

Closing the door behind him, Tim nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Raven standing a few feet from him, just watching him. “Raven,” Tim said recovering expertly, “how long…Cassie said-“

“I didn’t mean to,” Raven explained, “I don’t know how…”

“Raven…”

“I just got so mad, and she wouldn’t shut up, and I…I…” tears filled her eyes.

“Raven,” Tim reached for her, but she immediately dodged him, choosing to sit on the bed instead.

“I didn’t mean to do it.”

“Raven, what happened? Did you attack Cassie?” Raven only stared at him with a pitiful expression. “Please tell me Cassie attacked first.” Raven only shook her head.

“Raven,” he groaned.

“I don’t know what happened.”

“When Cassie tells Diana – and she will – I don’t think ‘I’m sorry, I got mad’ is going to cut it,” Tim said, trying to hide his annoyance. Raven’s eyes flashed angrily at him. “I know,” she said. “But I don’t know what else to say other than-“

“I know,” Tim interrupted her, “you’re sorry.” Raven’s brow furrowed. “Look,” Tim said, “I’m trying really hard to hold things together. But I can’t have you attacking your teammates.”

“It’s not like I planned to,” Raven defended, “I was trying to heal Connor. She saw me and flipped.”

“Raven, you’re on thin ice with _everyone._ You can’t afford to lose it.”

“You think I don’t know?” Raven’s voice began to rise.

“You can’t keep losing control.”

“I know, _Tim._ I’m. Sorry.”

“Raven, your apologies, though appreciated, aren’t helpful,” Tim replied sternly. _Great,_ he thought. Now his annoyance and anger were growing at the person who needed it least. “I don’t know what else to say,” Raven looked at him desperately as her voice broke. “I’m not doing any of this on purpose.” Her heart began beating rapidly as her blood pumped in her ears, no longer listening to whatever Tim was saying in the distance. She needed to calm down.

“…stay here, do you understand?” Tim was asking her. “You’re dangerous, and-“

“No, I’m scared!” Raven exclaimed as tears filled her vision. Her eyes then widened as Tim froze. _Where had that admittance come from_? she wondered. She looked at Tim, who was looking at her to make her heart race for a different reason. The two stared at each other in silence before Tim asked, “Raven, what or who are you afraid of?” Raven opened her mouth to answer the same ‘I don’t know’ but paused. She was sick and tired of the _I-don’t-knows_ ; Tim was, too. “I need to go,” Raven began to walk past him.

“No,” Tim stopped her. “Talk to me,” he stood in front of her, “why are you scared?” Raven looked up into Tim’s beautiful blue eyes. She didn’t know what to say or how to answer. She didn’t know what she was afraid of, but she couldn’t tell him that. He’d already done so much for her. He deserved answers – answers she didn’t have. Raven’s eyes welled with tears for the umpteenth time that hour. “Raven,” Tim breathed as his gaze softened while he rested a gentle hand on her waist. Raven felt warm tears roll down her cheeks as she and Tim unwittingly gravitated towards each other. Raven lifted a hand to wipe the tears away, but Tim was faster. His hands cupped her face as his thumbs softly wiped away tears and the tracks left behind. Raven gripped his wrists, closing her eyes. Tim’s hands were so warm, and for the first time in weeks, Raven felt something other than fear and anger and numbness. She felt safe and at peace. She felt… _loved_? Raven released a shaky breath as she felt a thumb gently graze her bottom lip. _Loved?_ Her eyes popped opened to see Tim still watching her curiously. Was _love_ the expression Raven mistakenly labeled _unreadable_? She had no chance to ponder this as Tim slowly leaned down and brushed his rough lips against her soft ones before pressing harder. And though all Raven wanted to do was throw her arms around his neck and dive in, a loud part of her began telling her that she was _so_ not emotionally ready for this. Raven pushed away from Tim before gentle kissing could lead to something else. “I’m sorry,” Raven covered her mouth with her hands.

“Raven, it’s okay-“

“I have to go,” she said, this time phasing into the floor, leaving his room.

* * *

Tim only stared at the spot she had been only moments ago, mentally beating himself. “Way to go, Tim,” he angrily muttered as he began preparing for the day. Raven admits being afraid, something she was notorious for denying, and he decides to kiss her. Tim released an angry, loud groan. He needed to get his head on straight. He needed to…regroup. He also _really_ needed coffee.


	7. Chapter 7

Raven watched the rest of the sunrise from on top of a cathedral. Now, she felt nothing. She was so…numb. Raven had been feeling this way for the past few weeks. If she wasn’t scared, she was angry; when she wasn’t angry, she was afraid; when she felt neither, she was numb. Every now and then, a scene or memory – a memory taking place somewhere she’d never been – would flash in her mind. Closing her eyes, Raven rested her head against the brick wall behind her, trying to bask in the fresh air. A gentle breeze was felt on her lips, and Raven was immediately taken back to her sort-of kiss with Tim. “Tim,” she breathed. Raven had been pining for Tim for a while. She finally had the chance to be with him possibly, and she couldn’t. Raven didn’t feel mentally stable enough even to consider a romantic relationship with anyone. 

Raven slowly opened her eyes as the noise of the city below reached her ears. She couldn’t believe it was only Saturday. Slowly standing to her feet, she decided to go back to the Tower and face whatever it was that she needed to face. Before she could fly away, a beeping sound emanated from her hip area. She forgot she’d grabbed her Titan communicator when she left the Tower, a force of habit. She flipped it open and gasped. Dr. Light was downtown, calling the Titans out. “What?’’ Raven stared at her communicator as a weird feeling pooled in her abdomen. Was it anger? Her fingertips began to crackle with black magic as an urge to hit something arose in her. Raven initially told Tim that she wanted a break from crime-fighting, but now…The communicator crumbled in her supernatural grip. _Dr. Light needs to pay,_ a voice whispered in her head. Raven found she agreed.

* * *

Raven teleported to the scene in uniform. Kid Flash was already there, badgering Dr. Light. “Where’s the Superbrat?” Dr. Light mocked as he shot bursts of light at Kid Flash. “How do you hope to defeat me with the sun at my back?” he laughed as he shone a bright light in Kid Flash’s eyes. “Aahh!” Kid Flash tripped over a curb and flew blindly into a wall. Ravager jumped from the top of a building as Red Robin, Beast Boy, and Miss Martian flew overhead.

Raven did nothing. Her team had yet to notice her. She only watched as Dr. Light began singlehandedly taking out her teammates. _He must be on magical steroids,_ Raven thought, feeling momentary _deja-vu_. She needed to join this fight, but she didn’t know what to do.

“Ow!” Beast Boy cried out as he hit a building before landing on a car. Miss Martian was blasted out of the sky and landed on the asphalt, a sick crack alerting everyone to the injury to her ribs. Ravager seemed to be temporarily blind. And Red Robin’s body was slammed into the ground. Raven gasped. She needed to do something. What the fuck was wrong with her? Why wasn’t she moving? “Where’s the rest of your little clan?” she heard Dr. Light sneer at Red Robin as he placed a heavy foot on Red-Robin’s abdomen and leaned over him. “Where’s the goth whore?” he mocked. “We had such a wonderful time in our last run-in.” Raven felt her body sway as he spoke. A cloud of numbness filled her mind as she felt the reins of her control get handed to another part of her, an angry piece of her. “I’m right here,” Raven stated calmly but loudly as she made her presence known. Dr. Light released Red Robin as he turned to her, a sadistic smile alighting his face.

“Did you miss me?” he asked in a sickeningly sweet tone. “We didn’t get to finish what we started last time. You really did a number on me, but I’ve come prepared. You see, I have the sun at my back.” A blast of light hit Raven in the abdomen, hurling her body into a streetlamp with a scream. Raven hit the ground with a thud, grasping her stomach in pain as she felt a burn wound form beneath her uniform. _That hurt_. It also pissed her off. “You seem…slower,” she sensed the doctor’s approach. “You didn’t put up much of a fight last time either,” she could feel the sleaziness oozing from him, along with something else. Lust, maybe? “I really do prefer blondes,” he continued speaking as Raven slowly stood to her feet, taking a defensive stance. What was he rambling on about, and why was it pissing her off? “But then you showed up and – wow!” Dr. Light’s eyes roamed her body from head to toe. She could sense him mentally undressing her. Raven’s heart began beating rapidly as her head began to fill with pain. “Shut up!” Raven growled, her hands glowing black. Dr. Light ignored her. “You have matured beautifully,” he continued, “perhaps we could do it again sometime? Maybe I can actually finish if you know what I mean?” A demonic growl left Raven’s mouth before either had time to react. Raven’s was in Dr. Light’s face in a split second. Liftin him with her powers, Raven slammed Dr. Light’s body into a nearby truck. Raven grabbed him by the throat before he could gather himself and flew him straight up into the air, higher than the buildings. He began clawing at her arm and face. “Let me go,” he croaked as fear marred his features.

“Okay,” Raven agreed with a disturbing smile as she did just that, dropping him. She teleported to the ground and slowed his fall, stopping his hurling body only an inch above the ground. She released him, walking around to face him with her four red eyes. He began to back away with a whimper. Black tendrils slowly appeared from beneath her cloak and wrapped around his hands and legs. “No! No! No! Please!” he began screaming as his worst, most horrific nightmares began replaying over and over in his mind as his body slowly disappeared into a portal under her cloak. “What’s the matter?” Raven mocked as Dr. Light continued clawing at the cement in a panic. “You don’t want to see my beautifully, matured body?” she spat angrily.

“Raven, stop!” she heard Red Robin scream. Raven released Dr. Light. She stared at the villain cowering in fear before her eyes as her teammates ran to her side. Dr. Light was curled up in a tight ball, asking for forgiveness as tears streamed down his face. “Geez, Raven,” Kid Flash ran to her side. “What did you do?”

“What happened?” Miss Martian appeared, gripping her sides in pain. Red Robin knelt next to the villain and placed a comforting hand on his trembling body. “You’ll be fine,” Red Robin half-heartedly soothed him.

“I – I – I didn’t even m-m-m-mean it,” Dr. Light stuttered, his eyes frozen wide open. “I – I – I didn’t even want her; I w-w-w-wanted the blonde.” He wasn’t making any sense. “Miss Martian?” Red Robin looked at the green alien. Miss Martian’s placed a hand to her head as her eyes glowed red, the tale-tale sign that she was entering someone’s mind. “I can’t,” her eyes returned to normal.

“What do you mean?” Red Robin asked. By now, Ravager and Beast Boy had joined the group…along with various spectators. Raven only stared at Dr. Light, emotionless. Numb. “His mind,” Miss Martian said, “it’s completely scrambled. All he knows is fear.”

“It-it-it was aww-w-w-w-wf-f-f-f-ful,” Dr. Light continued muttering. 

“He’s scared to death,” Miss Martian continued as the whimperings of the villain grew louder.

“Damn, Rae,” Beast Boy popped his shoulder back into place. “What’d you do?” Raven turned her head to him calmly. “Ahh!” Beast Boy jumped. 

“What?” Raven asked. She looked at her teammates, who had the same response. “What?”

“Your eyes are red,” Red Robin stood. “All four of them.” Usually, her teammates seeing her like this embarrassed her; but today, she shrugged. Sirens were heard in the distance. “He should be lucky I didn’t put him into a comatose state.”

“We’re lucky you didn’t kill him,” Red Robin.

“Death is too good for him,” Raven took a menacing step towards Red Robin.

“Woah,” Beast Boy uttered.

“Let’s just calm down,” Miss Martian stood between the two birds. “Raven,” she said calmly, “why don’t you go back to the Tower? Make sure everything is okay with Connor.” The mention of Conner’s name seemed to snap Raven out of…whatever state she was in. “Fine,” Raven said after her eyes returned to normal.

* * *

Raven landed angrily in her room at Titan’s Tower, stepping over the remains of her dresser and nightstand and bed. She was so mad, and she didn’t know why. All she could feel was rage and fear. She flung her cape off and plopped down on the floor with a thud. Her head hurt. Her stomach hurt. She wanted to cry. She wanted to throw up. She wanted to kill someone, and she didn’t know why. Raven looked at her hands that began crackling uncontrollably with black energy. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked herself as her powers seemed to grow. A banging on her door startled her. Tim. She flung the door open with her powers. “What?” she growled as she stood to her feet.

“What do you mean what? What was that?” he entered her room, still in uniform but no mask.

“We got Dr. Light. You should be thrilled.”

“Did you see him?” Tim stepped closer to her. “Miss Martian scanned his mind again after you left. She said you turned his mind into mush. He’ll be lucky if he has control of…anything ever again.” The anger immediately disappeared, and Raven quickly became sullen and depressed. “I didn’t mean to,” she said pitifully. The quick change of emotion knocked Tim off balance mentally. Raven began pulling at her fingers. “I-I just wanted him to stop,” she said, her voice shaky and weak.

“Stop what?” Tim asked her. He stood in front of her, a breath of space between them. “Talk to me, Raven,” he said softly as he placed a few pieces of hair behind her ear. “Let me help you. Let me in.” Her lips were right there. All he had to do was lean forward. “Tim!” a voice had both birds jumping apart.

“Cassie,” Tim looked at the out-of-breath blonde. “Connor,” she gasped, “it’s Connor.” Raven quickly opened a portal, teleporting all three down to the infirmary. Conner lay on the bed, squirming and muttering, “Raven, run. Raven, run. Raven, run.” He repeated it over and over again. The machines were going crazy, buzzing, and beeping. The three Titans remained frozen in place, not knowing what to do or how to react. Connor then stilled. His heart rate and blood pressure returned to normal. It was as if nothing happened. “What was that?” Cassie asked, “why was he telling you to run?” Cassie looked at Raven, desperation in her watery blue eyes.

“I don’t know,” Raven replied tersely. People were beginning to piss her off with that question. “If I knew what he was talking about, Conner wouldn’t be in this position, Cassie.”

“You were the only one there!” Cassie cried. “You’re the only one who could possibly-“

“Shut up!” Raven roared, her eyes glowing white as various items around the infirmary shattered. “Maybe if you’d gotten there on time, this wouldn’t have happened!” Black energy began oozing from every part of her body as her anger seemed to grow. “So stop blaming me, and STOP. ASKING. ME. WHAT. HAPPENED!” she screamed. Raven then fell to the floor in complete exhaustion. “T-T-Tim?” Cassie stuttered their team leader’s name. Raven turned to him and gasped. A giant shard of glass was protruding from his side. “It’s…fine,” he gasped as blood slowly ran out of his mouth. He, too, fell to the floor. His blue eyes found Raven’s eyes. He didn’t show fear or anger. He was worried…for her. He then fell onto his black, and her senses kicked into gear. “Raven, do something!” Cassie screamed.

“Tim, Tim, I’m sorry,” Raven sobbed, placing her hands on the wound. Nothing happened. “Why isn’t it working?” Cassie asked from behind her. “Raven, why – why isn’t it working?”

“Just hold on,” Raven gasped as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Come on, come one, come on,” Raven whispered. Nothing. “Come on!” she screamed in rage as her eyes flashed white. Her healing abilities finally kicked in, and her hands began to glow. She was able to successfully move the glass shard from Tim’s side and heal all major damage. Raven’s hands stopped glowing; she was exhausted and gasping for breath. Tim’s eyes fluttered open. “I’m sorry,” Raven said as tears poured down her face. Tim reached a hand out to her, but Raven scurried away from him, opened a portal, and said, “I’m sorry,” before disappearing into it.

* * *

Cassie was at Tim’s side in a heartbeat, helping him to his feet, his side on fire. “Where’s Raven?” he asked as Cassie put him on a bed.

“You almost died just now,” Cassie looked at him incredulously, “because of Raven.”

“No,” Tim groaned, “you don’t understand. She’s…sick…there’s something wrong in her head. I don’t…don’t know.”

“Let me find some pain pills,” Cassie began navigating the broken cabinets.

“What happened?” a high-pitched gasp came from the doorway. They both turned to see M’gann with her mouth covered in horror. “It was Raven,” Cassie said, “I’ll explain later, but come and help me find something for Tim’s pain.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Sexual assault in this chapter.

Raven sat on her floor, gasping for air as her room tore itself to pieces. “Tim,” she gasped painfully as tears gathered in her eyes. She had almost killed Tim. Tim had nearly died because she couldn’t control herself. Pain shot through her chest, and Raven had to release an audible gasp to relieve pressure. Her mind…it was a shattered mess. Her subconscious was seeing everyone as a threat. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks as pieces of her brain connected like puzzle pieces – her _eureka_ moment. Why hadn’t she thought of that before? Was she really that far gone mentally? Her room stopped shaking as she began to ground herself slowly. The problem was in her mind. Raven stood to her feet shakily, grabbing the various items she would need, navigating the ruins of her.

After clearing a spot on the floor, Raven sat cross-legged and surrounded herself with candles. The problem was her mind, her emotions. Raven closed her eyes and began to chant as the doorway to her psyche opened. The only way to figure out the problem was to go to her emotions personified. It was time she made a trip to Nevermore.

* * *

Raven landed in Nevermore and was immediately concerned. The atmosphere was all…wrong. The sky was gray. Everything was gray. And Happy, usually the first to greet Raven, was nowhere to be found. A strange chill and silence were in the air. Her emotions were around here somewhere; she couldn’t feel any of them. “Hello?” she called out unsurely as she began walking. Her voice simply echoed in response. Where was everybody?

Tim sat in the infirmary bed, his pain no longer an issue. “It seems Raven did indeed mend all important organs, veins, and arteries,” M’gann said, just as Bart sprinted into the infirmary.

“Miss Martian said you wanted to see me,” Bart said.

“I think this is a bad idea, Tim,” M’gann said.

“I agree,” Cassie chimed in.

“Anybody have any better ideas?” Tim angrily asked. He was met with quiet. “I still don’t know what’s going on,” Bart said.

“I say we bring Rose and Garfield in on this,” Cassie folded her arms, “and bring it to a vote.”

“I’ll go get them,” Bart offered.

“No, Bart-“ Bart was gone before Tim could finish his sentence. Rose and Garfield appeared in the infirmary 5 seconds later. Rose had a sword in her hand, her face promising murder; Garfield had a mouth full of tofu and looked thoroughly confused. “Huh?” was all Garfield could say.

“I was in the middle of shattering Tim’s record on the obstacle course,” Rose turned her sword’s point on Bart. “This better be good.”

“Cassie told me to get you,” Bart said.

“That is not exactly what I said,” Cassie mumbled, “but everyone is aware that Raven hasn’t been the same since…the incident.”

“Yeah,” Bart chimed in, “how have we _not_ talked about that?”

“It’s been a rough month,” Tim answered.

“And Tim and Miss Martian have been busy doing damage control,” Cassie added spitefully. Tim glared at her. “What?” Cassie asked, “I’m not wrong.”

“The reason we’re here?” Rose asked in annoyance. 

“Tim wants Bart to go back in time and see what caused this personality change and Connor’s coma,” Miss Martian said.

“Are you sure we can trust Bart to _not_ screw up the timeline and make things worse?” Rose asked.

“I resent that,” Bart said.

“You Flashes have a history of going off half-cocked-“

“Thank you, Rose,” Tim interrupted. “Look,” he looked at his friends and teammates, “I don’t like this plan any more than you do, but Raven doesn’t seem to remember anything, and Connor…”

“We understand, Tim,” M’gann said softly. “I cannot read Raven’s mind. It is way too…vast and confusing. She has walls up in her mind that she herself isn’t aware of. Maybe…maybe this is how we should move forward.” The other Titans looked at each other silently and pensively.

“Okay,” Bart agreed, “what do I need to do?”

* * *

After walking around aimlessly, Raven finally located her emotions. They were huddled together in a _kum-bah-yah_ circle, neither speaking nor moving. Their clothes, their colors – they all appeared washed out. Also, two emotions were missing. “Well, it’s about time you showed up?” she heard her voice from behind her. Raven turned to face a very pallid Anger. “I thought I’d have to burn the tower down before you decided to visit.”

“We need to talk,” a small voice said from behind Anger. Fear’s head peaked from around Anger’s shoulders. 

“What is going on?” Raven asked. “Why do my other emotions look…sick? And out of it?”

“Because they are out of it,” Anger growled. “Fear and I have been running the show for almost two months now.” A light bulb seemed to go off in Raven’s head. “Ah,” Anger said, “you finally get it.” Raven did. No wonder the only emotions she felt were anger and fear. Every time she tried to feel something else, she felt numb. “Do you know how hard it is to represent Happy when all I represent is Anger?” Anger looked ready to explode. “I only do one thing, Raven! One thing! And Fear is absolutely no help,” Anger reached for Fear, who was cowering behind her and all but pushed Fear into Raven. “All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.”

“I – I was just trying to protect you,” Fear stuttered shamefully as tears poured down her face. “I – I – I’m sorry.”

“Protect me from what?” Raven asked in exasperation. “What are you talking about?”

“It’ll be easier if you do a memory walkthrough,” Anger stated, looking severely annoyed.

“Fine,” Raven said, giving in easily.

“I’ll open the portal,” Anger said as she walked over to the group of dazed emotions. Anger grabbed the green one – Bravery.

“No!” Fear jumped up, grasping Raven’s hand desperately. “Don’t do it!”

“Stay here!” Anger pushed Fear away.

“That’s enough,” Raven stood in front of Anger, who scowled. Raven turned to Fear. “Just stay here,” Raven said. Fear nodded. “Will you come back?” Fear asked through her tears.

“I promise,” Raven gently held Fear’s hand in hers. “Just sit here.”

“I’ll open the door connected to that memory,” Anger said as she held up a nauseated Bravery.

“Do we really need Bravery?” Raven asked as a door appeared. “She doesn’t appear to be well.”

“Trust me,” Anger said, “you don’t want to do this without her.” Raven nodded as she and Anger – dragging a stunned Bravery who had yet to blink – stepped through the door. Time to face…whatever memory needed facing. 

“Remember,” Tim repeated slowly for the umpteenth time, “don’t touch anything. Don’t interact. Just observe and come back.”

“You have no faith in me,” Bart said as he stretched, loosening up his muscles.

“We’re doomed,” Rose stated dryly as Bart began jogging in place.

“No faith,” Bart repeated before sticking his tongue out at her.

“Bart, focus,” Tim snapped his fingers in front of his young friend’s face.

“I get this. I do it all the time,” Bart replied.

“Seriously!”

“I’m kidding. Relax,” Bart patted his leader’s shoulder. “You can trust me.”

“Just don’t-“

“Touch anything,” Bart finished for him. “Bye,” Bart said as he took off, a gust of wind blowing through the infirmary as a result.

“We’re doomed,” Rose repeated, “we are so doomed.”

* * *

**Raven walked the Titan halls in her memory with Anger and a very pale-looking Brave by her side. “Why are we starting here?” Raven asked. “I remember this just fine.”**

**“Don’t question this,” Anger nearly growled.**

**“Calm down,” Raven said, “I still control you.”**

**“You sure about that?” Anger smirked, “because if I’m not mistaken, you did just impale your BF with a glass shard.”**

**“Can we just…” Raven’s voice trailed off as they heard voices. “I remember this,” Raven said. She watched her past-self walk down the hall next to Rose**. _“…visiting,” Rose was saying, “you excited?”_

_“Shut up,”_ **Raven had playfully nudged her as they continued** _**.** “It’s not like that with us.”_

_“I can’t do this with you anymore, Cassie!” they heard Connor scream. Both girls stopped by Cassie’s door, eavesdropping on the incredibly loud couple. Connor sounded pissed. “First, you want me; then you don’t. Then we get back together again. Then I die, come back, you’re with Tim. But then you’re with me. You ask for a break. We get back together, and now…you want a break? Seriously?!” Raven and Rose exchanged glances._

_“Connor,” Cassie said, “please, I-“_

_“No. You’ve been pulling the strings in this relationship long enough. Lead me on. Dump me. Go to Tim!”_

_“Tim has nothing to do with this! This is about you…and me.”_

_“No,” Connor yelled, “this is about you! It always has been. Make sure this is what you really want, Cassie,” they heard Superboy’s voice break. “Because if you choose this, I’m done. I’m not coming back to you.” Raven and Rose held their breaths, waiting in silence. Raven sensed both Cassie and Connor’s distress. “Fine,” Connor said heartbreakingly. “Goodbye, Cassie.” Before either Raven or Rose could move, Connor came out of the bedroom and nearly ran into the two girls. They blinked awkwardly at each other before he stormed past them. Cassie then came running out of her bedroom with tears running down her face. “Connor, wait-“ she paused when she saw Raven and Rose standing in front of her._

_“Nice going,” Rose joked darkly. Raven rolled her eyes. Rose was going to get them all killed someday. Cassie said nothing; she turned to Raven. “Raven,” Cassie begged the empath with watery eyes._

_“He’s not in the tower,” Raven said after quickly reaching out with her senses._

_“This is…why do I keep doing this?” Cassie asked._

_“Because you’re spoiled,” Rose answered, not missing a beat._

_“It was rhetorical, Rose,” Raven quickly said. Raven then turned to Cassie. “I’ll go after him,” Raven said kindly._

_“Thank you,” Cassie nodded._

**“I remember this,” Raven said. “I found Connor on a hill, just sitting, watching the stars come out. We didn’t say anything. We just sat in silence for an hour or more when we got the call to go to the club.” The scenery changed around them, and Raven saw her past-self, standing outside a very active club with Superboy.** “ _Red Robin said to wait_ ,” **Raven heard herself say to Connor.**

**“He was so upset,” Raven began to remember slowly. “He wouldn’t listen. He ran in with no plan or anything.”**

**“Oh no,” Brave groaned in pain. Anger and Raven turned to see the vibrant color returning to Brave’s green uniform as she began to stand on her own two feet slowly. “Anger, you shouldn’t be here.”**

**“Excuse you,” Anger growled. “You’ve been no help to anyone for the month-and-a-half. You don’t get a say.”**

**“You’ll bring down the Tower.”**

**“Enough!” Raven stopped the two from coming to blows. “Brave, are you sure you can continue.”**

**“Yes. I can,” Brave said with resolve.**

**“Anger,” Raven turned to her red-clad self. “Thank you for everything, but-“**

**“Yeah, yeah. I know,” Anger said. “Good luck,” she sneered before disappearing. Raven turned to Brave. “Let’s do this,” Raven said. Bravery nodded, and the two walked into the building.**

* * *

_Impulse ran for what felt like a minute but, in reality, was three minutes. He came to a stop at an all too familiar nightclub. “It worked,” he chuckled. “I can’t believe the Boy Wonder’s plan worked.” He immediately zipped inside and hid behind a couple of overturned tables. “What the…” his voice trailed off. The club was filled with a mixture of fog and green sparkles. Impulse quickly waved his hand back and forth, causing some of the green dust to disperse. Bart saw clear outlines of Connor and Raven’s bodies, both sprawled out on the floor. He cocked his head to the side. What was going on?_

* * *

**Raven observed her surroundings as she entered the club with Bravery by her side. The memory played in front of them in slow motion. She watched her past-self run into the nightclub looking for Connor. “I remember this,” Raven said. “Dr. Light had attacked the nightclub with some type of airborne date rape drug. He went on a rape rampage at a nightclub. Or he tried to,” Raven thought hard. “His actions that night were unclear, but he had attacked a bunch of people. He wasn’t wearing his usual garb, and something was in the air…I don’t remember,” Raven grew frustrated.**

**“Take your time,” Bravery spoke in a quiet voice, one Raven was not used to hearing from her green-clad emotion. Raven breathed deeply before beginning again. “The police needed help apprehending him. He’d taken out so many cops.” She paused as she and Bravery found Connor’s unconscious body as the world around them continued to move slowly. “Right,” Raven’s eyes widened as it all slowly came back to her, “there were green dust particles in the air…whatever Dr. Light was using…it had been laced in kryptonite.” Raven stared harder. “Connor was breathing it in.”**

**“There was so much going on,” Bravery spoke quietly. “Too many emotions from the cops outside, the people on the floor, and Connor’s emotions were hard to pinpoint. It was too hard to concentrate.” Raven watched herself run to Connor, who she found crawling on the floor. “I…remember,” Raven said slowly. “I saw Connor on the ground. I had to get him out of there. But then I felt pain in the back of my skull.” Raven watched as her past-self crumbled to the ground. She’d been…electrocuted?**

* * *

_Impulse continued watching as the scene in front of him played out. He still didn’t know what was going on. Was Connor groveling? And why was Raven on her back? He flinched when he saw Dr. Light kicked Connor in the face. Bart looked back at Raven, who was still on her back. It took him a split second to realize Raven was fighting unconsciousness, and Connor was trying to crawl to her. That made more sense than Connor groveling. Impulse watched as Dr. Light stood over Raven, staring. He realized Dr. Light was talking, but he wasn’t close enough to hear what was being said. But he was able to see what was going on clearly. “What the-!” he quickly snapped a hand over his mouth and ducked down. He peeked from behind the table and released a sigh of relief when he realized he had not been heard. It was just, at that very moment, Dr. Light had begun disrobing. And Impulse had not been expecting…_ that. But, _Impulse wondered,_ what is he doing? What’s he taking his pants off for? _After a moment, Impulse’s eyes widened in understanding and horror._

* * *

**Raven watched as she writhed on the ground while clutching her head, screaming in pain. Dr. Light electrocuted her again. This time, she was completely immobilized. It didn’t even look like she was breathing. Raven had to lean closer to her past self to make sure she was still alive. She was.** “ _Huh_ ,” **she listened to Dr. Light say**. “ _150,000 volts of electricity. Good to know. I was hoping for the blonde one, but what the hell. Beggars can’t be choosers_.” 

**“Wait,” Raven looked at Bravery. Bravery looked down. “What does…what is he doing?” Raven watched in horror as Dr. Light began to tear at her clothes.**

**“No,” Raven said, backing into Bravery, tears running down her face. “No.” She shook her head no. She turned to Bravery. Bravery looked away. Raven looked at Connor, who was trying to get to her and screaming her name. But Dr. Light walked over to him and kicked him in the face.** “ _Shut up! You’re interrupting me_ ,” **he sneered. He then walked back over to Raven’s motionless body.** “ _Now, where were we_?” **Raven’s past-self began to regain consciousness, but Dr. Light zapped her with electricity again before she could make a move.** “ _No, no, can’t have you interrupting, now can we_?” **He immediately went to work on her lower half, touching her, doing things no self-respecting person would ever do. Raven wanted to freeze the memory and change it somehow, but she couldn’t. This had already happened. Just when he was about to penetrate her, Raven watched her past-self’s eyes go red – all four of them. Her past self then let out a horrific scream as black energy shot out from her, going every which way. The building came crashing down.**

* * *

Impulse stood frozen, unaware that he’d already returned to the infirmary. He hadn’t watched all of it, but he’d seen enough. He wanted, no, he needed to wash his eyes out. “Bart!” a sharp voice pulled him back to the present.

“Huh?” he said, his eyes staring at his teammates seemingly unseeing.

“Dude,” Beast Boy said. “What happened?”

“You look sick,” Cassie said. “Are you going to collapse?”

“N-N-No,” Bart stuttered. “I just…I…I need water.”

“I’ll get him some,” Garfield transformed into a cheetah and took off.

“You should sit,” Tim stood from the bed he was currently occupying.

“Are you sure you’re okay to stand?” Cassie asked worriedly, though refusing to release Connor’s hand. 

“The pain isn’t too bad anymore, and Bart looks dead on his feet,” Tim said. “Can you explain what happened?” Tim asked Bart.

“Uh…yeah…it’s…um…. what do we know about Dr. Light?” he asked, “besides the bank robbing and public annoyance?”

“What?” Tim asked, not understanding.

“Like…does he have a history of sexual assault?”

“Bart?” Tim’s face clouded with worry, “what are you talking about?”

“We’re getting nowhere with this,” Rose huffed impatiently, just as Garfield returned with water. The young speedster took it gratefully and began to gulp it down. He finished within seconds. “I have an idea,” M’gann approached the young speedster. “May I?” she asked, lifting her hands to his head. Bart nodded. M’gann gave him an endearing smile before her eyes glowed. Within a minute, she’d backed away with a gasp and look of horror on her face. “Oh, Raven,” she whispered as tears came to her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Raven, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” Bart said in resignation.

“What?” Garfield asked.

“I’m so sorry.”

* * *

Raven knelt in Nevermore, gasping for air as tears streamed down her face, fighting waves of nausea and vomit. Her emotions stood around her, no longer as pale and sickly as they were before. “Fear and I were…locked away, I guess,” Anger stood over Raven’s crumpled body, looking down at her with as much empathy as was possible for her to show. “We both felt the shock. We knew something was wrong as soon as the sky turned gray.” Fear was sitting next to Knowledge, wrapped in Knowledge’s arms. “For the first time, Fear became useful and immediately began to panic, giving me all the time I needed to lash out,” Anger continued.

“You brought the entire building down,” Knowledge said. “Many people were hurt.”

“Are you seriously judging me right now?” Anger snapped. “Fear and I have been moonlighting as you guys for nearly two months.” Knowledge flinched. “I know,” Knowledge said apologetically. “I’m sorry. It’s a habit.” Anger seemingly accepted that apology.” 

“Why? Why did you hide this from me for so long?” Raven cried, not paying attention to whatever was going on. “Well,” Anger said, “the other emotions didn’t seem to come around right away, and I figured my job was done. I let Fear takeover. I thought everyone else would snap out of it. But that didn’t happen,” Anger showed a little remorse.

“As you saw when you arrived,” Bravery said, “we’ve been in a numb state of mind.” Raven nodded. “And we figured, why not let Anger and Fear take the reins for a bit. Anger hadn’t destroyed the world yet, and Fear would be there to cancel out whatever she tried to do.”

“But, she only helped create earthquakes,” Knowledge spoke. “We needed to get you to remember somehow, without overwhelming you or sending you into a panic or mental breakdown.”

“Also, your growing feelings for Tim yet-“

“What!” Raven stopped Bravery.

“Your growing feelings for Tim,” Bravery said.

“We weren’t going to tell her about that emotion yet, you idiot,” Anger said.

“What new emotion?” Raven asked.

“One thing at a time,” Knowledge said, standing to her feet, bringing Fear along with her. “The point is…”

“You guys protected me,” Raven said calmly as she slowly stood to her feet. “Thank you, Anger and Fear.” Raven gave her emotions a watery smile. “I can…I’ll take it from here.

* * *

The Titans sans Raven sat in the infirmary in quiet. The only sound in the infirmary was the steady beep of Connor’s heart machine. “So,” Garfield spoke, “which one of us is going to tell Raven we know what’s wrong with her?”

“Way to word it,” Rose said.

“How in the world do you word something like that?” Garfield looked at her. “No wonder she went off on Dr. Light.”

“He got off easy,” Rose said as she angrily stormed from the room.

“Should we be worried?” Bart asked as he stared after the female assassin.

“Raven nearly destroyed his mind,” Tim said, “he’s no threat. Also, Rose won’t get anywhere near him, trust me. I’m more concerned about the dummies in the gym.”

“Still…” Bart’s voice trailed off. “I need air,” he left the infirmary.

“Yeah,” Garfield said slowly, “I need to…um…do something.” He followed Bart out the door. M’gann watched the two boys walk away. “I’m going to go make sure they don’t disturb Raven,” she said. “Because I’m pretty sure they are both about to do that.” She disappeared into the floor. Tim and Cassie remained in empty silence, the whirring of Connor’s machines the only noise. “Tim,” Cassie said weakly, her blue eyes wide and remorsefully, “I – I should-“

“I’m gonna go talk to Raven,” Tim briskly turned on his heel and walked away. He’d deal with Cassie later. One thing at a time.


	9. Chapter 9

Raven hummed very softly to herself as she cleaned her room. She felt lighter and calmer, more at peace than she had felt in days. The sun had finally set. She couldn’t believe it was only Saturday night! Too much had happened these last 24 hours. A vacation may be needed.

As she used her powers to scoop up another pile of wreckage, as her mind turned to Connor. He’d been in a coma for almost two months. She needed to begin actively pursuing remedies. Now that her brain no longer felt foggy, that was something she would be able to do. Also, and the thought made her ill, she needed to tell Tim she remembered everything. He of all people deserved to know the truth. He’d been a constant in her corner from the very beginning. She couldn’t hide this from him. It wouldn’t be right. Placing another pile of debris in the trash, Raven sighed heavily. She needed to see Tim before she lost her nerve. Begrudgingly, Raven slowly made her way to her closed door. Before she could open it, she sensed another person on the other side. Quickly opening the door, Raven’s breath caught in her throat at the sight before him. Seriously, Tim was too beautiful for words. It sometimes hurt to look at him. “Tim,” Raven breathed.

“Hey,” Tim said as he shifted his feet and stuck his hands in his pockets, appearing nervous.

“Hey,” Raven replied.

“We need to talk. May I come in?” he asked. Raven looked back at the devastation that was her room. “Umm…does it have to be my room?” she asked bashfully. She didn’t want Tim to see her room in this state of disarray. “I think it would be best if we talked in your room,” Tim said much to Raven’s dismay. “I promise not to take up all of your time.” Raven nodded as she reluctantly allowed Tim to enter her very messy space.

Tim entered her room wearing an easy smile. Taking in the mess, he turned to Raven and said, “Redecorating?”

“Yeah,” Raven chuckled as she shyly placed a long strand of hair behind her ear before hugging herself. She and Tim, in the same space. The last time they’d been alone in a bedroom…Raven lost her train of thought as her face reddened. “Tim,” Raven interrupted the charged silence, “if this is about Connor-“

“No, it’s not about Connor,” Tim quickly spoke, “it’s not.” Raven’s face visibly relaxed. “It’s just,” Tim began, “I want to say…Raven, I know what happened at the club.”

“The club?” Raven’s brow furrowed in deep thought. “You mean Verdant?”

“No. I mean the nightclub from almost two months ago,” Tim’s face grew grave. “I know what happened.”

“What?” Raven’s head shook once in disbelief. “I don’t understand.” She really didn’t. “I know what happened to you,” Tim reiterated, “I know what Dr. Light did to you.” Raven’s eyes slowly widened as her brain processed what Tim was saying. How did he…? “What?” Raven wondered aloud, “how? I don’t – Tim,” she gasped as items in her room began to rattle. She’d only just remembered, so how did Tim know? “How?” Raven asked, “there weren’t any cameras. I – I – I destroyed all of them.”

“I asked Bart to run back in time.”

“What!” Raven exclaimed. “You had him go back in time?” Raven’s eyes widened in horror. “Tim, do you know how reckless and dangerous that is?”

“I needed to know what was going on, and you weren’t talking to me,” Tim explained. “But when did you remember?” he questioned, studying her closely.

“Three hours ago, maybe,” Raven wrapped her arms around herself as she answered in a low voice. “I was about to tell you.”

“Raven-”

“Does everyone know?”

“I’m sorry,” Tim took a step towards her. Raven’s face became forlorn as Tim continued. “They were there when I asked Bart to do it. I didn’t know – I didn’t expect…”

“Why couldn’t you just leave it alone?” she gasped as unbidden tears rushed to her eyes. A pang of fear shot through her. All she wanted to do was run. “Raven,” Tim reached an arm out to her but flinched when a sharp pain shot through his side. Right, he was injured. “You know I couldn’t do that,” he said in a strained voice as he grasped his injured left side, “with Connor in a coma, and you…this team – something had to be done.”

“Well,” Raven turned back to face Tim with tears in her eyes, pausing briefly to look at his right hand clutching his left side. Right, she impaled Tim earlier today. “It doesn’t change anything,” Raven swallowed thickly. “Connor is still comatose, and I still don’t know how to wake him up.” At this moment, she felt like a failure.

“That’s okay,” Tim said compassionately as he took one step closer to her, “but I need you to walk me through what happened.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to file a report with the police and with the Justice League- “

“No!” Raven grabbed his hand in desperation. “Not the Justice League,” she begged, “please, not them.”

“I’m required to report rapes and murders, Raven.” Raven released his hand, shaking her head as he continued to explain. “That’s part of the agreement,” Tim continued. “They stay out of our hair; we report when a crime happens against one of our own. Also, with the damage you’ve caused lately…they’ve been watching you very closely, Raven. I have to give them something.” Raven continued to silently shake her head while backing away from Tim. She didn’t want them to know. “Raven, I know you have your issues with the League. I know they are well-founded issues, but I have to do this.”

“I don’t want them to know.”

“Raven- “

“I wasn’t even raped. He didn’t even-”

“According to Bart it was close enough,” Tim stopped her. His lips pursed as he remembered her state of undress on that particular night. Tim’s face softened as he remembered how she shook in his arms; how her eyes were glazed over in terror. Were those the signs he completely missed? Could all of this have been avoided if he had pressed more? Tim shook his head. Probably not. “Raven,” he spoke, “please…Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman are the only ones who will know it was you. They won’t give your name to the other leaguers. You’ll remain anonymous.”

“I don’t want anyone else to know,” she turned away from Tim. “I don’t even like the team knowing.”

“How can you say that?” Tim asked in disbelief. “We’re your family. A barely functioning one at times, but a family still. Cassie was treating you like shit. Who knows what the Justice League was planning to do with you. You were okay taking the blame for something that wasn’t your fault?”

“The Justice League blames me for my father’s existence, Tim,” Raven answered pointedly, “so yeah, I guess I was okay with being blamed for something that wasn’t my fault. I’m used to it.”

“Raven-“

“And maybe it _was_ my fault,” Raven began pacing. “Maybe I deserve her anger.” Tim was in front of her in a heartbeat, gripping her upper arms, ignoring his screaming side. “Don’t you say that,” he said firmly. “Don’t you ever say that. Don’t even think it.”

“I brought down a building,” Raven cried. “I injured construction workers. I almost brought down another nightclub. I’m losing it, Tim. I keep losing control. I can’t stop. Do you know how many people have been injured in the last couple of months because of me?”

“You were protecting yourself,” Tim loosened his grip on her upper arms, rubbing them in a way he hoped was soothing. “You weren’t even conscious.”

“I should have been stronger. I should have…” her bottom lip quivered. “Connor is in this mess because of me. He’s hurt because of me.” The tears came streaming down her face. “Seventy-two people were injured because of me.”

“No,” Tim shook his head. He cupped Raven’s face in his hands and began to brush away the tears with his thumbs.

“I’m evil,” Raven whispered in horror.

“No,” Tim said fiercely. “None of that is or was your fault. You did nothing wrong.” He gently tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. “I need you to believe that. It was not your fault. You are not to blame. Dr. Light, those people – they’re just collateral damage. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. And no one died.”

“But- “

“Not. Your. Fault.”

“I hurt you,” Raven gasped as more tears fell. “I could have killed you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But I could have. A big piece of glass-”

“No,” Tim said firmly, “You were scared. You were protecting yourself. No one can fault you for that.”

“You weren’t hurting me,” Raven cried. “You weren’t hurting me, so I shouldn’t have hurt you.” Raven grabbed his waist gently with both hands. A strange, comforting heat filled Tim’s chest and side. Raven was healing him. Tim gently stroked the empath’s face as she did so. “Raven,” he whispered as she finished. She stepped away from him, but Tim immediately grabbed her hands, stopping her from getting too far away. He said nothing. Just stared at her. Raven looked away, trying to hide the agony and despair on her face. Tim caressed the back of her hands with his knuckles as Raven tried to hold back sobs. “I’m okay, Raven,” he said. “I’m okay.”

“Do you really have to tell Batman?” she looked up at him with large, watery, violet eyes. Tim nodded. “What if they want to talk to me? What if they – I don’t want to relive…” her voice trailed off.

“It’s okay,” Tim pulled her closer. “If they want to talk to you, I’ll go with you. You won’t have to do it alone. I promise you that.”

“I still don’t know how to wake Connor. I’ve been researching-”

“That’s okay,” he wiped errant tears from her face. “That’s okay,” his blue eyes gazed at her softly. “We’ll worry about Connor later. He isn’t my main concern right now. You are. I am so sorry,” Tim said resting his forehead against hers. “Raven, I am so, so sorry. I wasn’t there.”

“It’s okay,” Raven murmured. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m the leader. I should have been faster, I should have…I am so sorry.” 

“I went in without you,” Raven tried to allay his guilt.

“Don’t,” Tim said, “don’t try to spare my feelings, Raven.” Raven began to cry softly. “What can I do?” Tim whispered. “What can I do to make you feel better right now? Tell me.”

“A hug would be nice,” Raven whispered after a moment.

“Really?” he leaned back, looking at her in shock. She nodded. “Okay,” Tim said with a smile and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a comforting embrace. “You’ll be okay. You’re okay.”

“I’m scared,” she sobbed. “I know he’s not a threat anymore, but I’m…”

“I know. I’ve got you, Raven, you’re safe now. You’re safe now.”

* * *

Two hours later, Tim looked down at the sleeping empath, gently stroking her hair. She must have been exhausted to fall asleep on his lap unabashedly. He sat with his back against the door, looking out Raven’s massive window. Was it really only Saturday night? Tim looked back down at the empath and almost jumped when he saw a pair of violet eyes looking up at him. “Hey,” Tim smiled. Raven blinked before slowly sitting up. “Sorry,” she said shyly as hair fell in front of half of her face. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“It’s okay,” Tim looked at her endearingly, “feel free to fall asleep on me anytime.” Raven looked away with a blush. “Um…how’s your side?” Raven asked quietly.

“As good as new,” Tim said. Raven’s face fell. “I really am sorry,” she said.

“Raven,” Tim gently placed hair behind her ear.

“And I choked Cassie,” Raven covered her mouth in horror. “She must be so mad.”

“Breathe, Raven,” Tim said, cupping her cheek.

“Tim,” she looked at him with big, doe eyes, “how do we move from this? How do I…get through this?” Tim opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He didn’t have a great answer for her. “Well,” he said eventually. “You won’t be alone. I’ll be with you.”

“You’ve already done so much for me. You’ve put up with so much.”

“Raven,” Tim stared at her curiously, “it really was no problem. I was happy to help.”

“Really?”

“You are so strong and amazing. You’ve been through so much. You’re so used to taking care of yourself, sometimes you forget to let us help you. The circumstances weren’t ideal, but I’ve always wanted you to see me as someone you can lean on.” Raven cocked her head to the side as she read deeper into Tim’s words. Before she could respond, she felt her mind mentally hit a wall. She was exhausted. Her tiredness must have shown on her face, because Tim chuckled and said, “You need sleep.” He gently helped her to her feet and led her out of her destroyed room. “You can take my bed,” he said.

“Tim, that’s not necessary,” she yawned. “I can sleep in a guest room.”

“Nope,” he said as they entered his room. Raven felt bad about commandeering his bed again, but she was too tired to argue. She slowly crawled into his bed and sunk into the mattress. Just before her eyes could close, she shot up and said, “You’re coming back, right?” Tim peered at her, his blue eyes searching her blushing face. “I don’t want to be alone,” Raven continued speaking as her cheeks continued heating, “but if you’re not comfortable-“

“No,” Tim smiled. “I just want to check on everyone. Then I’ll come back and join you. I promise. We'll cuddle, or something,” he finished with a smile. Raven returned the gesture with a small smile of her own before making herself comfortable.


	10. Chapter 10

Raven sat comfortably in Tim’s bed, watching the sunrise above the horizon. She didn’t know why but making it to Sunday seemed like coming in first during a triathlon. Exciting, but exhausting.

Raven turned to the empty space by her. She and Tim had slept together in the same bed, again. She couldn’t help the smile and blush that came to her face. She had no idea where he was now, but knowing Tim, it probably included several pots of coffee. And how exhausted had she been for him to leave the bed and not wake her? Raven stretched. What was she going to do today? For the first time in weeks, Raven woke up feeling refreshed and ready to start the day. Wait…she knew what to do. Her room needed re…everything. As much as she loved Tim’s bed, she couldn’t stay in it forever, no matter how much she wanted to. Also, she needed a new phone, she remembered as she crawled out of bed, stretching once more. Chances where her phone was lying crushed in the rubble of Verdant. Maybe Victor could hook her up with one of his fancy gadgets.

Running her fingers through her messy hair, Raven slowly made her way to the door. Not paying attention, she nearly jumped when she opened the door and came face-to-face with Cassie. “Cassie,” Raven breathed in surprise. A rush of jealousy flooded Raven’s senses. What was Cassie doing in front of Tim’s bedroom door? “Hi,” Cassie said, her tone shockingly contrite. “I was looking for you.” _Oh,_ Raven thought as the jealousy dissipated immediately. “Tim, told you I was in his room?” Raven asked with folded arms.

“Um, no,” Cassie answered, “I haven’t seen Tim. He’s not in there with you?”

“No,” Raven answered, “you just guessed I was in here?”

“Well…yeah,” Cassie smiled softly. “Aren’t you and Tim…?”

“Oh,” Raven blushed, “no. We aren’t anything.”

“Oh,” Cassie’s eyes widened. “So, the bet is still on. I should tell the others.”

“What bet?” Raven asked in mild horror.

“Never mind,” Cassie brushed it off, “that’s not what I wanted to say."

“Oh,” Raven shuffled as an awkward silence ensued.

“I don’t know how else to say it, so I’m just going to come out and say it,” Cassie said, “I am so sorry, Raven.” Raven’s shoulders slumped. _Right,_ she forgot everyone knew what happened to her. _Great._ “Cassie,” Raven tried to stop her.

“No, Raven, let me finish. I was so wrong,” Cassie’s blue eyes began to water. “I behaved terribly. Words cannot describe my behavior. I’m just so sorry, I don’t know…”

“Cassie,” Raven held her hand up. “I can’t do this with you right now. I’m not trying to be mean or anything.”

“I understand,” Cassie gave her a regretful smile.

“I’m just coming to terms with it myself. I’m not ready to talk about it at all.”

“Okay,” Cassie sniffled, “but you were right about how I was treating Connor.”

“Cassie, I shouldn’t have said anything. My head was in a –“

“But you were right. I can’t keep doing what I’m doing to Connor. He’s always, _always_ been all in, and I’ve been dragging my feet. I don’t even know why. Maybe I need therapy.” Raven opened her mouth to interrupt, but Cassie was on a roll. “You know what,” Cassie continued, “I’m going to find a therapist right now. I have issues. Are you sure you and Tim aren’t dating yet?”

“We aren’t dating.”

“I still have a chance to win back my $200,” Cassie muttered.

“What?”

“I need to tell Rose we still have a chance. Talk to you later,” Cassie said to Raven before running down the hall. Raven stared after her in confusion.

* * *

Noon and Raven still hadn’t emerged from her room. She really wasn't interested in whatever pity looks she may receive from her teammates, also, she was making progress in her room. All the trash and debris had been teleported to dumpsters somewhere in the city. Taking out a few magic books, making herself comfortable on the floor, Raven began flipping through the books. She had to have access to a spell that fixed beds. She just needed to find it.

Once again, Raven sensed him before he even had a chance to knock. Using her powers, she opened her door and greeted him. “Tim,” she said not looking up from her spot on the floor or her books.

“Hey,” Tim greeted, entering the empath’s room, looking around. “Wow, you have made a lot of progress in here.”

“Thanks,” Raven said, “I’m trying to find a spell to fix my bed.”

“Those exist?” Tim asked with a raised brow. Raven nodded. “Wow,” Tim said. He then looked at her.

“Tim,” Raven said, “you can sit. You don’t have to ask.” Tim laughed to himself as he sat. “Did you know our teammates have a bet going on?” she asked him.

“I may have overheard something along those lines,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. Raven peered at him, studied him. “Did you start the bet?” Raven asked.

“No,” Tim laughed, “that was all Bart and Garfield.” Raven nodded and returned to her book. “So…” Tim began slowly. “I talked to Batman.”

“Is that where you were this morning?” Raven asked, not looking up from her book.

“Yeah, among other things.”

“They want to talk to me, don’t they?”

“Yes, they do; they would like to do it as soon as possible.” Raven tensed up. “But I told Batman not yet,” Tim said. Raven’s violet eyes snapped to Tim’s blue ones. “What?” she asked quietly.

“I told him you weren’t ready to talk yet, and he and the others would have to wait.”

“You said that to Batman?” Raven asked wide-eyed.

“Don’t worry,” Tim chuckled. “Alfred was in the room with us. He agreed with me, thankfully. And Bruce respects Alfred way too much to verbally attack me in front of him.” Raven covered a laugh with her hand as she returned to her books. “Laugh all you want,” Tim said, “but you’ve never stood toe-to-toe with Batman. It isn’t a pleasant experience.”

“Well, thank you, for doing that for me,” Raven smiled gently at him. “I appreciate it.” Tim nodded once. After watching her for a few minutes, Tim spoke again. “Have you been in here all day?” he asked.

“Yeah. Cleaning my room. You saw the state it was in last night.”

“You haven’t spoken to anyone?”

“Well…Cassie did stop by earlier. She apologized.”

“Oh. Wow. How’d that go?”

“Um…I don’t think I’m ready to…” Raven’s voice trailed off as Tim nodded in understanding. “We went so hard at each other and…”

“Raven,” Tim put a comforting hand on her shoulder, “it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me. I understand.” Raven nodded, looking at him gratefully.

“Ooh, I found it!” Raven exclaimed. “I can put my bed back together.”

* * *

_Connor sat on top of a hill, overlooking the Kent Farm. He knew where he was. He was in limbo. His team and the Justice League keep trying to wake him up, but he wasn’t ready to face reality. He couldn’t face her; he couldn’t face Raven. He had failed her. He let his rage cloud his judgment and charged into that nightclub without taking stock of his surroundings; and Raven, being the good teammate that she was, flew in after him. She had his back. And thanks to him, she had been raped. Connor rested his head in his hands as the sun began to sunset. Maybe Cassie was right to have dumped him, the failure that he was. If he couldn’t even be there for Raven, a girl he liked; how was he supposed to be there for Cassie, the girl he loved?_

* * *

Hours and a few spells later, Raven’s room was finally back to its former glory. And she didn’t even have to spend a dime. “Nice,” Tim said. He had checked on Raven multiple times throughout the day. “So, I ordered pizza,” he said. “It’s in the common room…with everyone else.”

“Oh,” Raven’s face fell.

“You’ll be fine,” Tim laughed, reaching for the empath’s hand. Raven stared at it for a few moments before she slowly placed her hand in his. “Fine,” Raven said, “but if all conversation stops and they stare at me, I’m teleporting back to my room.”

“We’ll see,” Tim muttered. The two Titans made their way to the common room. Sure enough, as soon as Raven and Tim entered the room, all conversation ceased. “Yep,” Raven said, “bye.” She turned to go, but Tim stopped her. “Uh, no,” Tim laughed before turning to the shocked teammates, “look who decided to join us?”

“Who cares?” Bart said, “We saw her almost 30 hours ago. Ow!” he yelped when Rose punched him. “What?” he looked at her angrily, “you and M’gann said to treat her like normal and not bring up – ow!” he grabbed his arm when Rose punched him again. Raven blushed as she walked over to the couch to join her teammates. “Where’s Cassie?” Raven asked.

“Oh, she’s eating with Connor,” Garfield answered. “Not that he’s awake or anything; he is still very much unconscious.” Raven stiffened. “But that’s not your fault,” Garfield continued. Rose face-palmed herself as M’gann groaned. “Just shut up,” Rose groaned.

“So…are you two dating yet?” Bart asked.

“What do you mean?” Tim asked as he grabbed a slice of cheese pizza for himself and Raven. The four other Titans – M’gann, Rose, Garfield, and Bart – stared at their leader blankly while Raven prayed for the couch to swallow her. “You’re joking, right?” Garfield asked.

“Oh, shut up,” Tim said. “It’s none of your business. Just…go…eat your nasty tofu pizza.”

“Tofu is a staple of the…” and for the next hour, Garfield bored everyone with his knowledge of tofu.


	11. Chapter 11

She was afraid to close her eyes, which was ridiculous in her opinion. She had slept so well the night before. Maybe, it was because she was in bed with Tim. He did make for a very comfortable bedmate. But, if Raven were honest with herself, she was afraid of the nightmares she would inevitably have. Raven pulled her knees up to her chest as she sat on her bed, staring into the darkness of the room. Maybe Tim had the magic touch. She then snorted loudly.

This was no good. Raven looked at her digital clock. She had school tomorr – in 5 hours. Maybe she could once research ways to wake Connor for the umpteenth time. Raven immediately ixnayed that idea. She was tired of looking at books. But, she realized, that didn’t mean she still couldn’t visit Connor. Cassie wouldn’t mind…hopefully.

Leaving her bed, Raven decided to visit Connor. Maybe she’d find some peace there.

* * *

Walking calmly to the infirmary, Raven froze at the door when she heard a feminine voice speaking. _“…and I’ll go to therapy. Please, Connor, I’ll do anything if you just wake up.”_ Not wanting to eavesdrop, Raven decided to create a big portal into the infirmary. That way, Cassie knew she was coming and would know to stop talking. “Raven,” Cassie said as she began wiping tears from her eyes. “What are you – what are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Raven stated calmly as she was hit with a wall of despair and regret, all coming from the half-Amazonian. Raven looked closer at Cassie’s face. Her eyes were swollen from crying and dark from the lack of sleep. “Cassie,” Raven asked, “have you been here with Connor this whole time? Like…the _whole_ time? Since the nightclub incident?”

“I’ve showered,” Cassie answered looking forlorn. “I just…I don’t know,” her shoulders slumped. “I really, really, _really,_ screwed up this time, Raven.” Raven wanted to nod, but she remained still. “With you, and with Connor,” Cassie’s eyes began to water as she said Connor’s name, “he’ll never wake up. And the last thing I said to him…” Cassie looked at Raven. “I really am sorry, Raven. I treated you horribly.” Raven held a hand, stopping Cassie mid-apology. She still wasn’t ready to have that conversation. “When’s the last time you showered…or relaxed?” Raven asked.

“Um, Friday,” Cassie answered.

“I’ll stay with Connor,” Raven said, “you go take a shower or a bath.” Cassie opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it. Pressing her lips to Connor’s forehead in a lingering kiss, she slowly trudged out the room.

Once Raven could no longer sense Cassie’s presence, Raven pulled up a chair and sat at Connor’s bedside. “What’s going on in there?” she asked more to herself. Cocking her head to the side, Raven decided to try something that hadn’t worked before. Standing to her feet, she placed a hand on Connor’s forehead and entered his mind.

* * *

_Raven gasped. She couldn’t believe it! It worked this time. Looking around, she realized she was in a green pasture with the sun shining brighter than usual. This was Connor’s mind. Turning around, she saw a figure sitting on a hill next to a dog. This had to be Connor…or a projection of Connor’s subconscious. Raven ran to him. He looked at her, his eyes wide in surprise. “Raven,” he said in shock as he stood to his feet, “what are you doing here? How did you get in?” Raven searched Connor’s blue eyes. After a moment, her eyes widened in understanding. “You’re doing this to yourself,” Raven said. Connor looked away in shame. “You’re keeping yourself in this coma. Why?” Raven asked, seeking understanding._

_“It wasn’t like that at first,” Connor said. “But then…I don’t know.” His face fell as he became sad. “How are you?”_

_“I’m…getting better,” Raven said, “but you need to come back. You need to wake up. We need you. Cassie needs you.” Connor turned his back on Raven when she uttered Cassie’s name. “I’m done with Cassie,” Connor said resolutely._

_“That’s not true,” Raven muttered._

_“Yes, it is. Dammit, Raven,” Connor turned back around and faced Raven. “I gave her my all. And I understood how being a leader could maybe put a strain on our relationship, but every time without fail, she runs away. I can’t do this with her again.”_

_“Connor-“_

_“I love her, Raven. I don’t expect her to love me in return. I even told her she didn’t have to say it back.”_

_“She regrets breaking up with you,” Raven said. Connor said nothing and studied her. “Raven,” he eventually said, “you were assaulted. I led you into danger, and yet you’re here, concerned for me, concerned for Cassie. But who is looking after you?”_

_“Well,” Raven blushed deeply, “there is someone.”_

_“Good,” Connor said, “let that someone be there for you. Don’t end up like Cassie and me.”_

_“But, Connor-“_

_“Go back,” he said, giving her a gentle shove. “I’m not ready to return.”_

_“Connor – “_

_“I failed you, Raven,” he said as his eyes became glassy with unshed tears, “I failed the team. I didn’t listen to Tim. I charged in without thinking. I need time. I need to deal with this.” Raven could only look at her friend’s brokenness. “I’ll go, Connor. But you really shouldn’t do this alone. We’re a team, or family. And your absence is breaking us.” With that, Raven’s eyes glowed white, and she disappeared._

* * *

Raven gasped as she returned to her body. “My gods!” Cassie exclaimed. “Are you alright? Tim! Tim, she’s back! What happened?” Cassie asked Raven as she led Raven to a chair. Tim came running through the door. “Holy crap, Rae,” he said.

“What happened?” Raven asked, not understanding why they were freaking out.

“I went to take a shower,” Cassie began, “when I came back, you were standing over Connor with your hand on his forehead. And your eyes were white.”

“Okay,” Raven said, “I understand how creepy that may look, but I still don’t understand why you’re freaking out. I was only in there for 15 minutes.” Cassie and Tim looked at Raven incredulously. “What?” Raven asked, looking up at her teammates’ befuddled expressions.

“Raven,” Tim said calmly, “you were catatonic for four hours.”

“Four hours!” Raven’s eyes widened in surprise. “I need to get ready for school,” Raven said as she ran past Cassie and Tim.

“But-“

“What-“

“Wait.” Both Titans stuttered. Tim turned to Cassie, “I’ll talk to her about…this.”

* * *

After taking a hot shower, Raven grabbed the closest, cleanest clothes she could find. Black leggings, a black shirt that hung off one shoulder, black combat boots, and her signature rings. Grabbing her messenger bag, she quickly opened the door and almost froze at the sight of Tim leaning casually against the wall across her room. “Tim,” Raven gasped. “What – what – what are you doing? I have to go to school?”

“You didn’t eat yet,” he smiled with a tilt of his head.

“Yeah.”

“And your school doesn’t start until 8. It’s 7.”

“I like getting there when it’s empty. It’s nice and quiet then,” Raven answered, fighting a blush.

“Well, today, I will be driving you to school…and we can get food on the way,” he said as pushed away from the wall.

“Tim, I can teleport to school. You don’t need to do that.”

“Of course, I don’t _need_ to,” Tim said with a dramatic eye roll. “I _want_ to. There’s a difference.”

“Oh,” was all Raven said. The two then walked side-by-side to the garage in comfortable silence, with Tim opening the passenger door for Raven. “How…gentlemanly of you,” Raven joked.

“Thank you,” he said walking to the driver's side. Once he was in the car, he said, “Do me a favor and tell Alfred. He thinks I have no manners.” Raven smiled as Tim drove out the garage. “I don’t know what Alfred means,” she said, enjoying his smell and calming aura, “out of all the batboys, you’re the politest. It’s like you took etiquette classes or something.” Tim’s hands tightened just so on the steering wheel. If she hadn't been hyperaware of Tim’s presence, Raven might not have noticed. “ _Did_ you take etiquette classes?” Raven asked with a laugh. Tim gave her a side-eye. “Omigosh.”

“Don’t tell anyone.”

“How old were you?”

“I was 8.”

“Aww. Did you wear a cute little tux? Do you have pictures? Why were you in etiquette classes?”

“Yes. Yes, and it was something the people in my parents’ circle did. They put their children in etiquette classes. We learned about forks, spoons, dances, meals.” Raven covered her laugh with her hand. “It’s not that funny,” Tim muttered.

“I want to see pictures.”

“No,” Tim said immediately. “Maybe. We’ll see.” Pulling into the parking lot of an internet café, Tim looked at Raven and said, “I usually get coffee-to-go from here, but don’t worry, I’ll get you a tea and chocolate pastry.” He winked before exiting the car.

* * *

Raven exhaled as soon as she was alone. Okay, she was getting used to the winks Tim randomly threw her way. Contemplating on her changing relationship with Tim, Raven released a squeal when the sirens of a cop car suddenly turned on nearby. Raven gripped the handle of the car door as she began hyperventilating as her mind took her back to that awful night. _Sirens. Screams. Fears. Dr. Light’s sadistic laughter._ “Raven!” a voice shouted, bringing her back to reality. The passenger door was open, and Tim was squatting. His blue eyes searched her face in concern as a hand gently caressed her cheek. “I just – “ Raven tried to speak as her heart raced. “I – “

“Don’t talk,” Tim commanded, “just focus on breathing.” Raven nodded, her hands tightening their death grip on her seat. People walking in and out of the café threw curious glances their way, but Tim’s gaze never left her face. 

Looking beyond Tim, Raven could see a cop had pulled someone over. Was this to be her life now? Panicking every time she heard a loud, unexpected noise? She lived with Beast Boy! He was always making loud noises. Was she going to have a panic attack every day? _No, don’t think about that,_ one of her emotions whispered in her head, _breathe. Concentrate on Tim’s beautiful eyes._ What? “What?” Raven said aloud.

“What?” Tim asked, “I didn’t say anything. Are you okay?” Raven nodded shakily. “Are you sure you want to go to school today?” Raven nodded silently, losing herself in Tim’s blue eyes. “Okay,” he said as he stood to his feet. He then grabbed two drinks from off the roof of the car. “Here you go,” he handed one to Raven, concern, and worry still in his eyes though he was visibly smiling.

“Thank you,” Raven breathed softly, her body still trembling. She didn’t know what else to say, so she remained silent, sipping on her tea the rest of the way to school.

* * *

Tim pulled up to the school. It was still relatively early. “Thank you, Tim,” Raven said, not looking him in the eye. “And sorry about the freak-out earlier.”

“Raven,” Tim said her name quietly. Raven looked away from him. “Raven,” Tim said louder, this time Raven felt his warm hand engulf her cold one. She couldn’t help but turn her body towards Tim. “It was a panic attack,” he said. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“No, it was pretty embarrassing,” Raven said.

“Why? It’s just me.” Raven wanted to say, _“Yeah. It’s you. Beautiful, gorgeous, kind, Timothy Drake._ ” Did he really not know the effect he had on females? Seriously? “I have to buy a phone,” Raven said aloud. Tim smirked. Leaning over to the passenger side, close enough to hear Raven’s deep intake of breath, Tim opened his glove compartment and pulled out a brand-new phone, still in its box. “For you,” he said, handing it to Raven. Raven’s lips parted slightly as her eyes became round. “Wha – what?” Raven asked as she slowly reached for the phone.

“For you,” he repeated.

“Tim, how did you – when did you – this is the newest model.”

“I know,” he smiled, “Bruce knows a guy.”

“But when did you have time to…”

“Oh,” Tim replied, “I have a few phones lying around.” Raven gave him a deadpanned look. “You have a few phones lying around?” Raven repeated.

“Well, yeah,” Tim answered seriously. “Each phone has a specific purpose. I have my work phone from Wayne Enterprises. I have my phone for Titans where we can discuss only Titan business. I have my personal phone which holds the numbers of everyone’s alias. Then I have my special personal phone for people I hold dear.”

“Really? So which phone number did I have?” Raven asked.

“My special personal phone,” Tim answered without a second’s hesitation. Raven’s heart thumped wildly in her chest; she became short of breath. This time it had less to do with panic and more to do with Tim. “Well…um…thank you,” Raven said shyly. Suddenly, her face grew serious. “Crap!” she said. “Tabitha is coming. She can’t see me with you.”

“Wait…what?” Tim laughed as Raven opened the car door.

“She doesn’t know I know you,” Raven exited the car and gently closed the door behind her. “Go,” she motioned with her hand. Tim barely contained his laughter as he listened and drove away.


End file.
